Zelda: A Link To Harvest Moon?
by Emotionally-Yours
Summary: Link is a Hero in the heat of a mission, the completion of a Legend...When a mysterious Sheikah sends him to where the real evil is...a little town, full of murders, evil, and teenage boredom...a town called...FLOWER BUD VILLAGE! KarenXLink
1. A Long, Long Prologue

_A/N_: _"Oh but to live oustide the law, you must be honnesst..."_ Hallo, all; I am but a mediocre writer, and this ain't that good, at first. But to anyone who was a fan of _Zelda: A Link To...Harvest Moon?_ on the original fanfiction location, you'll know & eventually like this. Anyway, some things I have gotta point out:

_1)_ This is, indeed, an Harvest Moon-Zelda crossover...oh, but please, dahlings, lemme keep it in this section; reason being is that the audience I'm writing to does not browse the Crossovers section. And I don't like that section, anyhow. I've got an aversion to it, dolls.

_2)_ This story curses a lot. Curses, crude sexual humor, some stupid humor...I've got the works. Alcohol and cigarettes and teen freedom.

_3)_ Don't send me constructive critiscm. If you really have enough time to nitpick at someone's story for every little error, you aren't getting the message. Oryou should go kill yourself. If you don't like it,tell me: "I don't like it." I think that's better than giving me some pseudo-intelligent response about the "grammatical disfunctions" and "colloquial language" and "lack of sophistication." I don't really care for that.

_4)_ Enjoy! Even though I probably sounded like the most horrible bitch in Number Three. (Also note that I am, yes, indeed, johnnydeppluver from and that I, no, I did not steal the story.)

_>>>>>>>_

_Prologue-_

_1- Journey?_

"I have my eyes set on an entire universe of darkness. That is my reason."

Ganon's castle was made of a cold stone, dark and dreary…The décor, Sheik guessed, no matter _how_ colorful, was damp and musty, the only lighting a shard of pale yellow passing through a depressing stained glass window above Ganon's chair, the only light in the whole castle, maybe…

Sheik's harp echoed against the stone as his fingers nimbly plucked the loose harp strings. One of Ganon's wives sat, bored, at a seat to Ganon's right. She'd requested a song; and Sheik loaded the gun.

"That's a pretty tune," she sighed deeply, leaning into her fist, "That's a nice song."

"He's but tuning the thing," another attendant corrected cautiously. She looked over, to see if this was right; Sheik continued playing, but stopped on a string. He tightened it, and the one after it, and continued playing.

Ganon's wife sighed. "You're right. It's pretty, anyhow."

"And you would be willing and able to execute this?" Ganon asked, ignoring his wife. No answer was received as Sheik simply leaned back on the walls; cold. "Tell me, why do you serve me? You, a descendent of the Sheikah tribe, who've served almost the whole ancestry of Hyrule's Royal Family for…forever, I suppose. Is it revenge?"

Or maybe Ganon just liked a game of wits. He always wore a slight, mocking smirk. After a long pause Sheik sighed and stopped playing. "We are a tribe of 'shadows,'" he explained, "Without 'substance' we cannot exist. While I was without a master, you appeared. That's all."

"Switch to the one you played before," the wife whined heavily. "This one's _so_ dreary."

Sheik complied again. Ganon ignored her again. "But, I've gone into my plan," he said, shrewdly avoiding selling any secrets to Sheik; he was, after all, hired help- someone to entertain the whining ladies and fight Ganon's battles if he needed a mercenary. "And I am sure you know why I need you. You need no further instruction, I trust." Sheik was silent. "Then, go."

"Yes, milord," he said, with a slight, quick bow of the head. He shifted into the bag he'd slung over his shoulder, putting the harp away. "I'm off to lure the Hero of Time to the ranch."

>>>>>>>

Link slept beneath the deep ocean of stars in an open Hylian field, peaceful. Navi snored a soft buzz, tucked snugly in his cap.

His eyes flashed open. Slow to react, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he sat up, the dry grass clinging to the blonde of his hair and the green of his garb; no telling what was what in this place. He thought he'd heard a noise. He looked around, and whispered, groggily, "Hey, Navi, did you hear that?" His voice was dry and hushed.

She buzzed out of his cap slowly and sleepily, looking like a dream or a painting. "Huh? Wha?" Another noise; something rustling? "Hey! Listen!"

A twig snapped. Slowly he reached for a weapon; a rock, no; not that bottle, either. Wait- bottle? How the Hell did _that_ get there? Anyway, he searched around for his weapon, and unsheathed it when he found it, slowly and warily. _Snap!_ He shook his head. The noise sounded light… "Must be a bird," he grumbled, and turned around. "AHH!"

The young man covered Link's mouth gently. "_Shh_," he screamed in a whisper, and let go.

"Sheik!" Link gasped. "Gosh! You scared me!" He leaned back, slyly. "What're _you_ doing here?"

Navi buzzed irritatingly in Link's ear. "Oooh, gol-_ly_, you're happy. Link's got a _boyfriend_!" she snickered, until Link shoved her in his knapsack and drew the strings tighter.

"I'm here to advise, nothing more," he answered. A smirk played into his eyes. "But one would infer that you take some _liking_ to me?"

Link looked, agitatedly, at his knapsack, where Navi glowed white through the canvass in her faux innocence. "So, what d'you need to advise me about?"

"Darkness spreads quickly," Sheik answered indirectly, "Look; see how the night's overtaken the sky, such a rapid pace, so fast and quiet." He motioned to the quickly darkening sky; Link looked, enchanted. There was something about Sheik's smooth, shadowy voice, the calm way it rolled over the syllables and the sentences, liquid night- it was hard not to listen to him. Everything he said sounded like some sort of poetry, changing from a pervasive to an intimate tone easily. "It covers everything; and that is one of Ganon's goals- an entire universe of darkness." He paused. "I've explained to you the concept of time-travel."

Link nodded. "Yep."

"Alright," Sheik replied. "A proper understanding of time will help you to comprehend this fully." He paused again. "Ganon, through what forces that are still a mystery to me, has discovered a way to travel the dimensions; other galaxies and such, if you will, universes, worlds. Because he cannot physically enter these portals and warps, he invades using his various minions and vessels. I have a map…" He looked through his rucksack and retrieved a piece of old, yellowing parchment, handing it to Link.

Link looked over it; a map of Hyrule. Well, a magician's map, anyhow, or any other superstitious sort of thing. It listed sets of portals, keys, explanations; the vastness of Hyrule. "If you're interested in traveling to these places, you've instructions on the back; I wrote them down. My handwriting may be shoddy, though…you have to use the sword." He stood up slowly. "I thought you'd need to know."

"Hey hey whoa whoa hey," Navi interjected, buzzing out from the knapsack. "How do we know you're not some sorta conman?"

"What reason do I have to con you?" Sheik answered.

"Well, gee, I dunno," she answered snappily. "Look, all I'm saying is- you might have damn good intentions, but what if you're wrong?" She snickered to herself. "What if he ends up in a watermelon?"

Sheik looked at her with harrowing crimson eyes. "Then he will be in a _watermelon_, along with you- and perhaps then your big mouth will be put to some use."

Navi shut dejectedly.

"And that," Sheik said, collecting his things, "is all."

"Hey-"

Poof. Gone, with the swipe of a bandaged arm.

Navi glowed green. "What a nut job," she muttered. "And you think _he'd_ be smart enough to not be such a wacko. What a loser." She turned back to Link, who was saddling up Epona and strapping their provisions to her.

"LINK," Navi squeaked, "What are you _doing_! You can't possibly _trust_ him!" He said nothing. "I _DEMAND_ YOU STAY _HERE_!" she yelped shrilly, "WHAT ARE YOU _DOING_!"

He ignored her, smiling widely and straddling onto Epona. "C'mon, Navi! We've got a universe to save!"

"I hope you know what you're doing…" she said, uneasily, tailing after him and tucking herself behind his ear inside his cap.

"Of course I do!" Link smiled reassuringly. He kicked Epona's flanks. "To the West!"

>>>>>>>

"So we really have to sell the farm, huh," Takakura said, depressed. The farm was his only child.

The Mayor nodded grimly. He looked funny, a pinkish little Irish man with a red nose and red suit and red-brown hair all jumbled together in a mass of red. "Unless we can find a buyer in…" He checked his watch. "Fifteen minutes, one who's willing to pay all 600,000G."

Takakura stretched his arms out, helping the Mayor pin up the SOLD sign- the farm's fate in bold red letters. He stood back and examined it, arms folded. "You know, that company is thinking of building a parking lot over this," he said, as if he were talking about the weather.

"A perfect waste of fertile land," the Mayor said, shaking his head in pity. "These city people, polluting every chance they get. And then they complain about the crop prices. A parking lot…who in the darndest mile of this down has an automobile?"

Takakura shrugged, the cool, gray morning mist hanging over the two as they waited for the men in sharkskin suits and slick hair to take away the land. Galloping was heard somewhere nearby; the two men looked down the road to see a dark auburn horse with a mane, white and brilliant, coming up the road- a tamed horse, from the way it looked. Its brilliantly colored saddle reflected the invisible sun. The rider was hooded.

The horse galloped up to them. "Whoa, girl," the rider said. Obviously male.

"Welcome, traveler," the Mayor greeted warmly, "Stay at our inn, or mingle with the shoppers- everyone's welcome here." He tried to decipher where this boy was from, judging the horse, the goods, the clothing, his looked- there was no explanation for it. Unless…a slow smile wafted sleepily onto his red face. "You need help with something?"

Link took his hood of; he seemed to have an air about him that the two others noticed, his fair skin and purity of his looks. "Oh, uhmm, sorta. I mean, that'd be nice- could you?" he rasped. He was exhausted. Three days just wandering around, drifting in and out of these large, foreign cities, their warm stone floors, all these people…it was madness. Everywhere he went people questioned him, or kicked him out. He didn't understand any of it. Madness. Sheer madness. "Uh- do you know where I am?" He noticed the men- they were strange-looking. The little one looked like a cherry, bloated inside his slick yet colorful suit. The big one looked grim and crazy, waiting to strike at any chance he'd get; a dangerous man. A serious guy, and he looked like a Gerudo…

"Well, you're in Flower Bud Village," the Mayor said, acting confounded. The language sounded similar to Hylian- he'd have no trouble getting the accent down. "And I'm Mayor Thomas Dougherty. Where do you need to be?"

"I don't know," he answered, bluntly, laughing a little but feeling like breaking down and crying from exhaustion and confusion. "I'm supposed to be _somewhere_. But, I don't know where. What would you recommend?" Navi, still inside Link's cap, basically died. Right there. What a _stupid_ question to ask.

There was a pause. The Mayor and Takakura exchanged blank, skeptical glances. The Mayor looked at him, a bit nervously. "I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you're asking me," he said.

"I mean," Link answered, cheering up a little, "where _should_ I be?"

"No, sonny," Thomas answered, "I mean I don't understand the question. Please try to stay in English- I'm not a very well-versed man."

Link laughed, lightly, nervously, and flushed a little. God- the language thing again. "I'm sorry," he pronounced, a little slowly. "Where do you think I _should_ stay?" The air smelled like green grass and the sweet scent of fresh hay.

The Mayor moved to say something, but Takakura interjected quickly. "How much money do you have with you?" he asked, hopefully and hastily.

Link paused for some time, trying to decipher the code that was the English language. He finally understood the word "money" and poured out a pile of glittering rupees from his wallet.

The men stared blankly at the jewels in his hand. "Well," Thomas said, slowly, "we'll need a money-changer…and that's…well."

"I'll call that company," Takakura said, moving away from the strange boy, whose jewels cascaded in the gray sunlight, and the mayor, whose red glowed ever brighter in their reflection. The horse whinnied. "I'll call them," Takakura said again, lowly, this time, "tell 'em to hold on a little longer." But, inside, he already knew- the farm was Saved!

>>>>>>>

And Link was dropped off, by the large Gerudo man, at some bar, and was ushered, rushed hastily, into these people's lives, the noontime shouts in the bar and the argument of some man with salt-and-pepper hair and the Gerudo man, too fast and too loud and too angry for Link to follow. Finally he was put in a lofty room on top of the bar. He was told this was an inn, too.

He sat on the cushy, clean bed and looked at the ceiling in discomfort. "Oh, Triad," he said, with an exhausted sigh…he fell face-down into the pillows. At least _beds_ hadn't changed.

While Takakura worked things out with company, Link stayed at the Inn, unnoticed by most of the people there. He slept for the whole of the first day.

>>>>>>>

After that first day he woke up happy and cheerful, as per usual. All he needed was a little sleep and quiet- and then he was fine. He looked around the room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Hey, Navi?"

"Don't wake her up," said a effortless voice from behind him.

"Sheik," Link gasped, groggily, "it always puzzled me- why do you always know where I am?" He grinned, toothily. "Are you _stalking_ me?" he asked, jokingly.

"Of course," Sheik answered, purposely making the answer vague, teasing. Link noticed that Sheik had another bag with him.

"Am I supposed to be here, even? I don't know," Link said, smiling, leaning back on the cushy bed.

"It is a mystery even to me," Sheik lied- _this _is_ the place, you imbecile, otherwise I'd have come much earlier. _Sheik caught Link's eye on the bag. "This?" he asked, holding it up. "It's for you," he said, tossing it to him.

"Oh," Link answered, "thanks!"

"Provisions," Sheik answered. Unless he was explaining something mystical, wise, and/or enigmatic, he rarely spoke, and if he did, it was either shyly, emotionlessly, moodily, or viciously. He eyed Link looking strangely at a disc inside a paper holder while pulling out a large book. "You'll need to learn the language, or at least the basic language, quickly."

"Ohmm," Link answered, still not quite understanding. He pulled out something else. "What's this? Smells sorta weird, no offense."

"None taken," Sheik answered. "It's bread. I presume you'll be hungry. And there is…clothing inside as well. I don't trust that you'll need me to explain them. Oh, and that is a CD player-"

"How do you _know_ all this?" Link, asked, amazed while opening the package of Wonder bread.

Sheik paused. There was a strong silence for a moment. He leaned back on the dormant radiator, shrugging a little. "I get around."

And the next two days were spent without Sheik, day and night listening to the "learn-English" instructional CD without stopping, except to look up something in his new dictionary or argue with Navi, or eat bread.

And on the third day, the farm was sold.

>>>>>>>

_2- The Farm?_

"This is the barn," Takakura explained, motioning to an old but sturdy building with a pasture behind it, further confusing poor Link with the expansive tour. "It's where you keep the animals. But I guess you knew that." He paused and stretched his arms a little. "I bought you a cow, if you wanna name her."

"Hmm?" Link asked, waking up from a daze. His speech was still a little slow, but he'd gotten the interjections and slang down, so far. Easy language to learn, but…hard to speak it right, because of all this commotion about it being alright not to speak it the right way…or maybe he was just too tired. "Oh! Name it. 'Kay…" He'd only been on the farm for a day, and now all this information…well,…He thought for a while, then broke out in laughter. "Uhmm, how…exactly do you name something?"

Takakura looked at him blankly. "Are you…forget it. Well…" He himself really didn't know how to explain it. "Well, a cow…just think of someone, and pick the first name that comes to mind, I guess."

"How about Malon?" Link suggested, not knowing just how mean that name would sound if he told its bearer the situation.

"Hmm…that's an…interesting name," Takakura answered. "Name of you girlfriend?" Link looked at him blankly. "Forget it. How about I show you around town? I'm not really the most social of people, but you look…" He looked over Link, big blue eyes and bright blonde hair and dumb smile slapped on his face. "…Friendly," Takakura continued. It then occurred to him that, hey, he'd just sold this farm- but he didn't even know the kid's name! "How should I introduce you?"

He paused. "L-"

"His name is Link," said a voice from nearby, flawless English flowing over the tongue and syllables. Link looked by the roof- where Sheik was standing, crossed arms and bent knee. "And the name of the cow suits is perfectly."

"Sheik!" Link exclaimed, glad. "What are you doing here?"

"To monitor you progress," he said. "You're doing quite _well_, it seems." Link had no idea if the answer was sarcastic or serious. Sheik just thought it odd that Link, in his sentimentality and sympathy and sometimes stupidity, would offer to buy a whole _farm_ without knowing how, exactly, a farm _works_.

"Progress?" Link repeated. "What's that mean?"

"I keep an eye," Sheik answered. "I give my knowledge where it's needed. Clearly, it is needed here." He stooped down, threw his voice down to the two below him. "I hear there's some information floating around town. You need only to look in the right places; and I suspect, of course, you've some sense of detecting power levels, magic, if you will, about you."

"But, where exactly should I look?" he asked.

Sheik paused. "Wherever you feel something," he offered.

"Feel? You're skipping around the subject," Link answered, glad, a little, for whatever help he could get; and he was now drifting in and out of Hylian and English.

"Rely on your own instincts," Sheik answered, not letting any more valuable information link own. A paid mercenary- and he disappeared, with a flash and swipe of his arm.

Navi peeped out of Link's cap, with a soft buzzing. "I'll never be able to figure him out…" Link nodded.

Takakura looked at the blonde in stupefaction, jaw slack, not able to believe the brief scene he'd just witnessed. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

Link looked over his shoulder, back at Takakura. "Which part do you mean? The part where we were talking, or when he made fun of Malon, or-"

"No, no!" Takakura cried, shaking his head. "That whole THING!"

Link laughed. "Oh. Oh-kay. Well, that was Sheik. I don't really know where he just came from, he does that, always knows where I am…and this is my fairy. Navi. She came out to…comment. Say 'hi,' Navi!"

"Yep," Navi grumbled. She buzzed away. "I'm goin' back to bed……"

"Oh-kay," Link confirmed. "Before she came out, Sheik vanished, which is a power that all of his people have, the Sheikah tribe. The Sheikah tribe is-"

Takakura interrupted him with a skeptical glance. "What are you smoking?" He shook his head again. "No, better yet, what am _I_ smoking? Look, I need you to go and pick up some seeds for me. Pick up six bags of tomato seeds and eight watermelon seeds. You can find them at Florist Lillia's. You have to go straight across the intersection, and then at the first store you see on the right. You can't miss it…well, _you_ can. Anyway, there's a sign in purple neon letters that says 'Florist Lillia's.'" He stretched himself out, like a cat would. He reminded Link of a cat that way- slow, lazy-looking, but vigilant. "Now, I need a nap…" As he walked away, he grumbled, "Damn…reefer smoke…blowing over here from those damn…hippie yurts…"

"What a weird guy," Navi said.

"Hey," Link replied, "I thought _you_ were asleep."

"How could I be asleep?" Navi asked. "That guy talks and it's like a big, huge tidal wave. C'mon, let's go get those seeds."

They started towards Epona. As Link propped one leg over the horse, he began to talk. "Hey, Navi," he started.

"What?" she asked.

"What's an in-ter-sec-tion, anyway?"

>>>>>>>

_A/N_: Hahaha. So, there it is. The rewrite. Hope you enjoyed it. I am too tired for words as of now.


	2. Mistakes In the English Language

_A/N_: Thanks a lot you fuckers. At least _someone_ reviewed- was it really _that_ much of a total bore?

**_Review Responses:_**

Cerasi Avalon- Thanks! Here're two more chapters; did you read it when it was on HMOtaku, or...?

>>>>>>>

_Chapter One-_ **Mistakes In The English Language…Cheated At A Hick Chateau…The Girl With TheLong Brown Hair…**

_(1- Can't Pronounce)_

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not one for over-the-top nationalism, but I didn't like this town too much when I first came here. I mean, it was a nice town- quaint? Is that the word?- but it was…the _roads_ that threw me off.

The problem was Epona. Not to say anything about her. But it was these roads- no grass, only in patches around neat edifices. The dirt, if there was any, was dry and dusty, flying up into my eyes as we rode along. And when you rode into town, the cobblestone (if you were going too fast) made sparks of rock fly up. Not _anything_ like Hyrule.

Like I said, I'm not the representative of over-the-top nationalism reallyat all. I _like_ this town. But something about it was so _alien_…

Like Takakura said, I couldn't miss it. After all, it had this HUGE sign, in purple letters, screaming: FLORIST LILLIA. Who was Lillia? There was a tiny sign by the little white fence that said, "Open 6 A.M.- 5 P.M. Closed Sundays and Holidays."

I didn't see the point of the really small fence but I really didn't need to complain about it. I walked inside.

Someone in the store smelled like flowers, but the pink kind- either soft and powdery or strong and overpowering. This was a mix. I tried my best not to gag, because, well, you know, it's rude.

The lady at the counter stopped her conversation with someone else to look at me. I turned red- she was pretty. Her hair was wavy and long and pink, and her face was thin and delicate-looking. She had nice red eyes, that seemed sad for some reason. I thought that she sort of looked like an undercover Sheikah- maybe she was!

I discussed my undercover Sheikah with Navi. "You're so stupid……" she said with a tone that reminded me of rolling eyes.

"Hello," the woman said cheerfully, "Can I help you?"

"Uhmmm…" She looked at me intently. I was worried whether or not I could speak English to her. I had spoken to Takakura, but by that point I couldn't really remember whether or not I had been making sense. Plus, it doesn't really matter to be embarrassed in the company of a man, but with a woman it's sort of different. I tried to speak slowly. "Uh……I need…" What did I need, again? Oh, man…I tried to remember the lessons on English from the disc, the friendly woman's voice repeating: _"I NEED…SOME FOOD. I NEED…SIX EGGS…_" Six… "Six…" She looked at me blankly, somewhat confused, I guess. I tried speaking fast. "Tomatoseedsand…" I tried speaking at a normal, Hylian pace. "Eight watermelon seeds."

I had a feeling they were all staring at me. I turned hot red with embarrassment. I looked around, shy and nervous. There were two girls, one with pale skin and long dark hair, and another with long, curly pink hair. They were both giggling.

"Well, of course, honey," the desk-woman said. "Popuri, Celia, go get those seeds?" They left to another room. "So, you're the new guy?"

I turned around, surprised to hear anyone talking to me. "Uhmm, yea. Yes."

"You nervous?" she asked. Her voice was very clear and refined- I could understand every word she said. It made me relax a little, that she didn't mumble or have some kind of accent. "I was nervous when I was new to this town…then again, when I was new, the only people here were Jack, Sr. and the mountain carpenters. And some of the store owners, but that's beside the point." She looked at me and laughed, high and clear and nice-sounding. She just sounded like a nice person. "I'm sorry, are you acquainted with them yet? My mistake…well, it's been a long time since a _man_ came in here…am I talking to much?"

"No!" I blurted, smiling.

"Thank you," she answered. She smiled warmly. "Well, my husband's gone. I get chatty when he's gone away. But, I'm counting down 'til the seventeenth! Would you like to see my calendar?"

"Sure," I answered. The calendar was a little creepy. It was like a little obsession…there were red marks all over the calendar saying things like, "Basil's Coming Soon! Yay!" I remember being sort of…really freaked out. But, at the same time, I was a little sad for her- that she had to be away from her husband for so long. I wondered where he was.

"You must think I'm mad," she sighed.

"No, not really," I said, even though I did think that a little bit. But sometimes honesty just isn't the best policy. "I think you just miss him."

She looked at me for a second, with a look that said she was either confused or taking in what I'd just said. Then a slow smile spread across her mouth, and she straightened up, looking at me from a three-quarter angle. "Well, thank you." She held out her hand to me. "I'm Lillia, by the way. I own the shop."

Celia and Popuri came back from the other room. "Hey!" the dark-haired one said, throwing me two small pouches, one red and one light green. "Here are your seeds." She giggled, I don't really know why, though.

"Come again, cutie," Popuri winked at me. They giggled some more.

"Girls!" Navi exclaimed in a squeak as we walked out. "I'll never be able to understand them!"

"I thought they were kind of nice," I replied. I heard Navi huff. Hee hee, I bet she was jealous…

"That's what you think about _everyone_," she grumbled. Her toned pepped up mischievously. "Especially your little _boyfriend_."

"SHEIK IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" I sighed and turned to see maybe ten people staring at me, probably wondering what I was talking to, and in what language…

I turned red again. "Uhmm, hi……sorry for that…"

They all stopped staring and turned back to their normal morning chores. I climbed onto Epona.

"You're so stupid," Navi said.

"Hey," I laughed.

We passed into the dry, dusty intersection again. "Oooh, look!" Navi squeaked excitedly.

"What?" I asked, slowing Epona down.

"A _WINERY_!" she yelped. Navi would never admit it, but she was a diligent drinker. For her size, she could intake a lot of alcohol…

"You're such a drunkard," I teased.

"Hey, what!" she exclaimed. "How _dare_ you, I am _not_ a drunkard! I'm just excessively fond of alcohol!"

"_Surrreee_," I replied. "C'mon, let's go get a drink. I'm parched!"

We rode up a sloping entrance and reached a large chateau. There was a nice, big house nearby, and a smaller building, a wine cellar, maybe. In front of these two buildings was a plot of grapes, and a large tree.

A tanned man with a purple bandanna was working between the wine cellar and the plot of grapes. A man was standing outside of the house, with some wine bottles on a stand beside him. He was gruff-looking, with a serious expression (heavy-set brows) and a grizzled dark beard.

"Hi!" I said, happily.

"Hmph." What a nice reply, right? "How can I help you…" He really didn't even seem like he wanted to help me. He said it with the same tone he'd use if he was saying, "Go away."

"You sell wine here, right?" I asked.

"30G a bottle," he grumbled.

I poured out something like six rupees into my hand and held them out. "Is this enough?" I asked. I learned later that the rupees all equaled about 200G…oops.

"Thank you!" he said, suddenly turning happy and grabbing at the rupees. "Come back any time!"

"Sure! Thanks," I answered, getting back up on Epona. The tanned man looked at me, shaking his head in some sort of pity as the owner counted the rupees joyfully.

Navi seemed skeptical as we trotted back to the farm. "I've got a mind to go back and kick that guy…

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Because-"

"Hey! Wait!" someone called behind me.

I turned on Epona to see a girl following us. "Oh, sorry. Yes?"

She ran up to me, looking a little winded. She looked up to me- she had a wide, pretty oval-shaped face, with fair skin and dark green eyes. Her hair was long and brown, two strands of blonde rimming her face. She blushed, looking a little angry or embarrassed to talk to me, avoiding eye-contact. "Uhmm, my father ripped you off. Here's your money." She threw the money to me in a small bag and ran off.

I shrugged. "Obviously this isn't the _friendliest_ family," Navi said importantly. I nodded in agreement.

I stopped Epona at the farm and tied her up to the a white fencepost as Takakura walked toward me. "Hey!" he called, "Did you get those seeds?"

"Yeah!" I answered, throwing the two bags to him.

"Hey, watch that throw!" he yelped, "You could kill someone with that iron arm!"

I checked my arm. It didn't really _look_ iron to me, so I didn't know what he was talking about. "Hey, what about that reefer smoke?" I laughed a little, but he didn't seem to get it. "Uh, so what do we use the seeds for…?"

"What the hell do you think?" he asked. "Planting, stupid. First get the hoe from the tool shed-"

"The _what_?" I asked, not seeing the need for profane language.

"NO, STUPID, NOT _THAT_ HO!" he shouted impatiently. "I mean the hoe that you- oh, forget it, I'll get it!"

He came back with a tool, with a dark wood handle and a wide, curved dark metal head. I waited for further instructions. "Now we till the soil," he said, slowly. "It's a bit heavy," he said, "So you might not be able to pick it up, or work it very well."

"What? Oh, okay," I answered. I used it the way I'd seen Ingo or Malon's father use it back in Hyrule- arms above head, bring it down, pull it forward. The movement became fluid momentum after a few turns.

"That's strange," he interrupted.

I slowed down and took a look at him. "What?"

He shook his head. "I've never seen anyone handle it like that. Easy…You are a weird kid."

"You think?" I asked. "I wonder what everyone else thinks…"

>>>>>>>

_(2- Interlude)_

"I've successfully lured him in," Sheik said, soft and casual, making a slight bowing movement.

Ganon looked at him from the book he was reading. "Hm? Oh, you. Well, good job," he said, getting out of his deep mahogany armchair and putting his book on the desk. He tossed him another bag of rupees; Sheik caught it easily and stashed it away. "He really is too entertaining to kill. But too dangerous not to. I hope you're satisfied with your pay."

Sheik stifled something in the back of his throat, indistinct emotion. "Yes. I am." He was just a mercenary- and he never meant to hurt him…

>>>>>>>

_(3- We Met)_

A lot of people saw him. Hell, I saw him, too. The only thing I knew about him was that he was drop - dead - _gorgeous_. I could have _died _when I saw him for the first time.

He'd been in town for three days, maybe. I heard from some people that he was staying above the bar. I had a mind to go up and meet him, but I really didn't have any time to make buddies with some stranger. Gorgeous, yes- worth it, no.

He had long, messy bangs and blonde hair, and a flawless complexion to boot. His eyes were open and blue, a shade of cerulean only movie star heroes donned. Oh, and that skirt, man- well, I'd go a little beyond a "Teen" rating if I told you _exactly_ what I thought of that particular item of clothing on him.

At the same time, he looked weird to me. Well, the skirt, for one- but there was something else about him…

It'd been a sunny afternoon, but only in weather. I'd fought with my father _again_ that day. Egad, I really hate him.

The new guy came around. I looked down at him and my father from my bedroom window. Just seeing him from far away was _very_ rewarding.

I walked downstairs, hoping to catch a closer look at him, to see if he was really all _that_ cute. In the living room, my father was sitting on the couch, counting glittery jewels, looking like a miserly cave troll. "What's got _you_ so happy?" I asked, pausing in my boy scouting for a minute to make a mean comment.

"He doesn't know conversions," my father chuckled to himself.

"What! I can't believe you'd rip someone off like that!" I screamed. Looking back at that, I realize I have a MAJOR temper problem. "Give me those right now!"

"You give, you learn," he sniffed. "Besides, if he's going to give this much, it's out of charity. This vineyard's going down, you know!"

"It's still not right! You cheap bastard!" I snatched the rupees from his hand and walked off with them into the kitchen.

"Hello, Karen," my mother said tiredly, as I looked underneath the sink for a Ziploc bag.

My father was yelling from the living room. "You little ingrate! This is blatant disrespect!"

I stuffed the small jewels into a plastic baggie and got up. Gotz was yelling at me in the doorway, in my face and following me to the door. "You cheated me out of my well-deserved 30G! How about that! You ungrateful daughter!"

I opened up the bag and threw one rupee at him. "There!"

"Hey!" he yelled as I went out the door.

I ran down the slope and into the intersection, where the new guy was trotting along on that horse of his. "Hey, wait!"

He turned, and I could _swear_ my heart stopped beating for split second. "Yes?" he asked. He had some sort of strange accent that made his voice open and soft, but happy at the same time.

I turned red. "Uh, my dad ripped you off. Here's your money." I threw the bag at him and ran off. God, he was so…blonde. And gorgeous…

My father was waiting for me, arms crossed, when I came back to the vineyard. "Why would you do that!" he shouted. "You've got no business mind! You ingrate!"

I ran inside the house. "MOM! Dad's being a jerk again!"

"Gotz! Are you drinking again!" my mother asked, tired but stern, from the kitchen.

"What do you think? She took my money and gave it to some weirdo in a skirt!" hw said back.

"Oh, wow, Dad! That's real good!" I stomped upstairs.

"Honey!" Mom called, "Please come back down, so we can sort this all out!"

"I hate you all!" I screamed downstairs. People say I have a tendency to overreact. I guess this was one of my drama hours. "I'm not going down!"

"Come _down_ before your father comes _up_!"

My father coming up…not a good idea. I came down, but made sure to look severely distressed. I folded my arms and messed up my hair, pouting for an extra effect.

"Now, explain to me what the problem is," she said, calmly.

"Well, _this_ big lumbering idiot-" I started, sharply eyeing my father. Kai, being "part of the family" (?) just _had_ to come, too, standing right next to him.

"_Karen_," my mother scolded. I hate my parents- especially my _father_.

I continued. "Before I was so rudely _interrupted_, I was about to say that _Gotz_-" when you use a parents' first name, it stings bad- "had a customer today who didn't know how to convert his money. So he didn't even _bother_ to help him and just cheated him out of more than 100G. That's not very _fair_ to the customer."

"You _never_ care about the customer," Kai grumbled in jealousy, "why start now?"

"Shut up, Kai," I said. I turned back to my parents. My mother had a concerned look on, but my father just looked like a big stupid yeti, as usual.

"I'll talk to your father about this. Kai, you may go back to work. Karen, just go."

I went compliantly. I was near Ann's ranch when I screamed, "I don't need any of you! I hate you all!" I usually do that when I'm angry- scream at nothing. It cools me down tremendously.

I walked a little further until a strong wind came over me. It blew toward me and stayed there, hovering like a fog around me, cold and malicious feeling. My vision blurred a little; the dusty dirt was getting in my eyes. My head started to feel light, the scene spinning around me into some kind of shadowy fog- was it really getting that late?; and then I threw up, dizzily. God. The extreme change in weather…I took time to look up from my vomiting.

I saw a smile. A white, menacing smile, teeth peeling out from thin lips on a tan face, almost olive green in color. The face's hair was like a flame, a blur of messy red. The Hell? What was this? God, a little weather change wasn't something to make someone _hallucinate_…what the Hell was going on?

"What…the Hell?" I asked, my voice drawling in and out in my dizzy state. The face laughed. I can't tell if I screamed then. I didn't even know what was fucking going on!

I heard a voice, open and soft, calming. "Hey! Hey, get away from her!"

And then I blacked out.

>>>>>>>

_A/N_: Mmmm. Hmm. What-ever.


	3. Getting To Know You

_A/N_: Nope. ?

>>>>>>>

_Chapter Two_- **"Getting To Know You"…Smiling Faces & Hyrule, At Last**

_(1- Deja Vu)_

We were done planting the seeds in all of thirty minutes. "'Kay, we're done!" I observed, cleverly.

"_Nooo_," Takakura replied, rolling his eyes. "You think?" He looked at me. "Hey, why don't you take that horse of yours for a ride? She's getting restless."

I looked over at Epona, who was kicking at the patch of grass beside her and whinnying, biting at the rope with her big white teeth. "Aww, I feel bad for her," I said, frowning. A little bit of a wind picked up from the ground.

"What a tragedy," Takakura replied, picking up the tools, the hoe and watering can we'd used. He dumped the water out on a patch of grass and flowers near the pasture fence. It started to get bitterly cold, the unperturbed but wintry coolness hovering over us like fog. The wind picked up again and sent leaves flying from trees. "What weather!" Takakura exclaimed. "Since when does the weather change that fast? How weird…"

"Yep," I answered. "Man! I'm hungry," I said, stretching out and yawning a little. I started to get a feeling- I don't know what. It felt spiteful and dark. The sky darkened a little to the east of us, but it stayed the same right above us.

"You wanna come to the bar with me?" Takakura offered in a grumble, coming out of the tool shed.

Then I started thinking that something wasn't right; I heard a shrill scream nearby. I was lucky I hadn't put away my sword in the house already; I unsheathed it from my left hip and held it up like a general. "Maybe later," I said.

"WHAT THE HELL?" He looked mortified. "What is _that_ for!"

"Bye! C'mon, Navi!"

I ran out of the farm in the direction I heard the scream. As I headed out I noticed how cold it was getting, until I was standing directly in the intersection, with a cold shadow enveloping the area, blocking out the sun.

I saw a girl falling backwards, one leg going directly rearward and another falling to the knee, causing her to fall lopsidedly.

Above her was a floating figure, probably pulling some brainwashing trick on her. "Hey, get away from her!" I yelled, in my surprise.

The figure looked at me. I gasped. "Ganon? How did you-"

It laughed. "I am not _Ganon_, stupid boy." No, not Ganon. The laugh seemed a little squeaky to be _Ganon_…

I lunged at it with my sword above my head, which was a kind of stupid thing to do, because I bounced off it and hit a rock, my shield flying out of my grasp and spinning toward the Ganon-imitator on impact…haha… "Ow!"

It laughed again. "Mwa ha ha ha ha!"

"Man, he laughs cheesy," Navi said, trying to motivate me to get back up.

"Silence, you!" Even I couldn't help but laugh- it was such a cheesy cliché villain. "I am MARIONETTE GANON!" it said, irrelevantly, "DIE, YOU INSECT!"

Well, it was fake in its attitude, but _definitely_ not in its strength. It stepped on my shield and instantly crushed it. I stared at the crushed, colorful pieces of the broken Hylian shield at "Marionette Ganon's" feet in mortification.

"Now, really, DIE!" It struck at me, and I fell---blank.

>>>>>>>

_(2- Kidnapped & Estranged)_

I heard a tiny voice, squeaking, _annoying_ as Hell.

"Link! Wake up! Link! Listen, you lazy fool!"

My head hurt even more now, and the vomit taste was stuck in the back of my throat. I felt like I had a bad hangover. I opened my eyes; my vision blurred for a minute and then became crystal clear. I looked around from where I was lying. A glowing ball of……I don't know what……, with purple, crystal wings, beating rapidly, was flying around. Too damn bright to be a firefly…It spun around the head of, wow, my luck, the new guy.

I sat up quietly, trying to remember where I was, and what had happened up until now. Oh. Right. That _thing_. But where the Hell was I _now_? I looked around. We were near a small spring of water. I checked my reflection- my luck had finally kicked in. I looked great, just a little messed up. I remembered that I'd thrown up a little before, and dug through my pockets for a Tic-Tac; I popped one in my mouth. Hey, bad breath is no turn-on for anyone.

The thing was still buzzing around the new guy, Link. "Link! Listen to me! You gotta wake up! C'mon, Link!"

"Hey, stupid!" I interrupted, slamming my fist on his chest, "Wake up! Your little friend wants you!"

Then I realized that his little friend was no ordinary little friend. "AHH!" I yelped, scrambling far away from it.

He woke up, honest-to-God gorgeous as ever. "Hmm?" He sat up. "What's wrong, Nav-" He looked directly at me, sitting near the spring. "Oh, is Navi what you're screaming about? Don't worry, she's harmless."

I frowned a little, not believing anything around me. "Whatever……"

"Navi is a fairy," he explained, his blonde eyebrows knit together in a scholarly manner, "That's why she follows me around. I used to be a Kokiri- you know what those are, right?- well, actually, I was _raised_ as a Kokiri, so that's why she does what she does. She's like my guardian, sort of."

He was a little naïve in the aspect that he didn't know that I didn't know what the hell he was talking about. "What! You don't make any sense."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. What an idiot… "I'm a little new to this place." He confused me sometimes, because even though his voice was nice, he'd drift in and out of dialects. It was like when you watched German movies, where you could _swear_ they were speaking English even when they weren't. Maybe he was German…no, how did that explain all of his _excess_ weirdness?

I nodded. I leaned back on my hands, frowning, still, and trying to stay guarded. "So, what was that _thing_ back there?" I asked, casually and coldly, gambling on the chance that he might know, "I mean, do you even _know_?"

He shook his head. "I wish I did. Hey, why are we here, anyway? I thought we were at the intersection! What is this place?"

I looked around again and shrugged. "Can you guess?" he asked. "It looks sort of familiar."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, let me just pull out my map of the _world_. Am I _supposed_ to know?"

"I took you."

Link and I looked behind a tree near us. A guy was sitting behind it, leaning against the trunk. He had been playing a harp, but in the moment of silence could we hear it. The only things I could make out from the angle I was at were that he looked bandaged up and had dark, sandy blonde hair.

"Yeah? And who are _you_?" I asked, skeptically.

"Sheik," he answered, simply. Everything he said sounded vague…not like a lie, but like a secret. "Of the Sheikah tribe. And you are?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Karen. Of the Vineyard."

"How come you were silent up until now?" Link asked.

Sheik paused, as if trying to look for a reason. "I was only listening to your conversation."

"Oh," Link said. "What _was_ that thing back there?" Sheik and Link _obviously_ knew each other, if not very well.

"That was Marionette Ganon," Sheik answered, with a to-die-for perfect French on the _Marionette_. "He is a puppet form of Ganon. From what I know, he's being manipulated by a diligent follower of Ganon. Someone he can trust, I'd presume."

"So that means that follower's in this village?" Link asked.

"Most likely. But that means blood," he said, his words faltering a bit.

"WHAT IS GOING _ON_ HERE!" I screamed. Secrets- tch. Overrated; I _hate_ not knowing what's going on. A couple of birds flew away hastily from a thin tree. Link laughed, but Sheik looked at me over his shoulder, partly leering and partly confused.

"Who _are_ you, by the way?" Sheik asked.

"Hey! What's _that_ supposed to mean!" I exclaimed.

"Okay, calm down, you two," Link said, consolingly.

"Yeah, really," the "fairy" said, "For once I agree with the walking clothing article."

Sheik looked daggers at her. He then paused. "I think we'll have to take some sort of action…brainwash her, perhaps."

"WHAT!" I yelled, standing up.

"Hey! Let's all just stop arguing," said Link with a nervous laugh.

"It's our only option," Sheik answered.

"Maybe if we can just shut her up…" Navi buzzed.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, walking away a little. "I can make it home on my _own_, thanks. I'll just _go_."

Link ran after me, holding me back by the shoulders. "Lemme go!"

"You can't go home!" Link said.

"What! You asshole! Let me go!" I exclaimed, struggling from his iron grip. "You pig!"

"You can't," Sheik answered, calm. "We're somewhere completely different. If you would sit down and rest your mouth you _would_ know where we are."

I stopped struggling for a minute. Well, it didn't look _too_ far away from home. I pushed Link off me and sat down, patiently. "Fine."

"_Thank-you_," Sheik sighed, sounding relieved. "You've heard of travel? Between dimensions, galaxies, time periods?"

"OH THIS IS BULLSHIT!" I yelled, getting up. "Hey- stop fucking with me. I'm serious! Where the _Hell_ are we!"

"If you would _listen_," Sheik said, again.

"I'm _trying_ to," I snapped, "but _someone's_ a little high on the Trekkie plane."

"It's true!" Link added, cheery.

I looked over at him. Come to think of it, they didn't talk regular, or look regular. Maybe…that was fucking crazy. When the _Hell_ did _anything_ like that ever happen? It defied science and religion and all sorts of natural laws. "Alright," I huffed. "No bullshit this time. Tell it like it is."

So they told me.

Apparently, Link was some sort of "Hero" of time and whatever, with the "Master Sword." And, apparently, we were in "Hyrule."

They told me what was going on from the time Link first took the Master Sword, to the time when Sheik and Link first met (in which Link was particularly elaborate), to Link's journey up until now.

Of course, it was a big load of bull- but they were hot! So I went along with it.

"You probably don't believe us," Link said, a little sadly. "Here's my Triforce mark!" He showed me the collection of three triangles forming a major triangle on his left hand. I nodded, but I _still_ didn't believe it. "Hey, Sheik! Why don't you disappear?"

I laughed. "Okay, then, Link, I think you're going a little too far."

Link sat down, cross-legged like I had done when I was in kindergarten. He was sort of funny in that way- he acted like such a damned baby. He thought for a while, but then his face lit up. "Hey! I've got an idea! Why don't I play a warp song for you!"

"Link," Sheik warned, "I don't believe that that is a very smart thing to do-"

"Nonsense!" Link exclaimed, happy that he'd just figured out a way to make me believe this Hyrule mumbo jumbo. He grabbed Sheik and I by the hand.

"Hey! Cut it out!" I exclaimed, trying to struggle off him.

"Don't struggle," Shek advised, rolling his eyes a little, "It worsens the pain. Hold on to me, if you like." I did, but kept an eye open- the pervert might _try_ something, and if that was the case, he was going down.

Link something he later called "The Bolero of Fire." It sounded Spanish, but I didn't say anything- in a second we were lifted into the air, surrounded by this red ring of light or something, and transferred to a hot place.

I raised an eyebrow and coughed. I covered my nose- damnit, it smelled like…sulfur…and…fire? "Hmm," I said, "Something smells fiery."

"Run out!" Link cried.

"That wasn't the most _intelligent_ decision, was it?" Sheik asked. "This way!"

Link picked me up and I blushed. "Uhmm…" We followed Sheik, when we came to a break in the dark basaltic (whatever it was) rock. It opened to a large pit. I almost fainted when I saw boiling, _hot_, **_dangerous_** magma stewing beneath us. I tried to struggle off Link, pounding my fists on his shoulders. "Lemme go! Damnit!"

"Ouch! Stop!" Link protested.

"You'll have to jump!" Sheik called from the other side of the break. "There's not enough time for Karen for you to use the hookshot!"

I had inhaled a lot of smoke and was coughing like crazy. "You…are not…taking me…across…that pit!" But it was too late. Link backed up, and then charged forward; I felt an actual _breeze_ as he jumped long and far. I winced, shutting my eyes and preparing for the absolute worst. We landed safely on the other side.

"Hurry!"

Easy for Sheik to say.

>>

When we returned to Flower Bud Village, it was around four in the morning… "It's been an exciting day, huh?" Link asked. I didn't know who he was asking.

"Yes," Sheik replied. "It has been…"

"So, I guess I'll see you again some time," Link said to him. I was still being carried.

"Perhaps," Sheik said. I could tell by the folds in his face mask that he was smiling. He suddenly became all formal again. "I'll be counting on you to keep this a secret, Karen. It was nice to meet you." I was pretending to sleep. "I'll be seeing you again…"

And then he was gone, just like that. Link smiled lopsidedly at me. "I knew you weren't asleep," he said, a little teasingly. "How did you like today?"

I rubbed my eye. "It was…nice, I guess. Just a little tiring."

"What was your favorite part?" Link asked. "I personally liked all of it."

I thought a little- in a flash some normal part of me had vanished into this side-of-good-helping, secret-knowing "hero." I'd traveled longer and harder than Charles Lindbergh ever did and knew things that most people couldn't find out in a fucking lifetime. Link looked at me with those cerulean blues and I swore that it fulfilled any six-year-old girl's fantasies, and I felt a little loved for the first time in a long time. Not a family's love, or even a friend's love- a different kind. Hyrule was amazing. And Link's accent got a little better, too. "I guess I agree."

"Well, maybe we'll be able to go again," Link smiled. "But we won't start in the same place." He grinned a wide, cheesy grin.

"The stars are nice," I whispered to myself. "You can, uh, let me down, uh, here…uhmm, yeah, I'm sleeping over Ann's today…"

"I'll see you later," he said, smiling.

"Yeah……" He left; Navi drifted off with him.

"Hey!" I turned around. Ann was calling me, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders like a poncho. "I was getting worried! Where on earth were you? You were supposed to be here at 10:30!"

"What time is it now?"

She sighed impatiently. "Four 'o' clock in the morning! Now, where were you!"

"Well, I was attacked by Marionette Ganon, who is a form of Ganon, who's attacking the village. After that, a guy named Sheik saved me and Link. Then we went to Hyrule, but we ended up in a mountain crater. We got out just in time, though, so we went all over Hyrule. You know, Ganon's gonna take over this town, soon, and Link is going to save it, since he's the Hero of Time. So I think that's it. Wanna get some cocoa?"

Maybe not. I was sworn to secrecy, and plus, she wouldn't have believed me, anyway. "My mom was giving me a hard time…"

Ann smiled. "Hey, you sound sad. Cheer up! Now you have an excuse to stay over for two days!"

I nodded. I wished this day would _never_ end…

>>>>>>>

_(3- "The Farm," Agony Implied)_

When I got home, I threw myself on the bed. "It's been tiring, huh?" I asked Navi with a tired smile.

"You were _so_ into Karen," Navi replied. Which had no relation whatsoever to my question.

"Hey, for once you're not cracking jokes about me and Sheik," I said. I lied on the pillows and waited for her comeback.

"That brings me to another point," Navi said, "When are you and him getting married? I mean, you've probably already done-"

I threw a pillow at her. "You've got a sick mind, Navi! I don't wanna _hear_ you say anything!" Navi cackled wretchedly.

"Well, goodnight, Navi." I plopped my head on the pillow and _almost_ fell asleep.

Until Takakura barged in not a minute later. "Wake up! Time for work!"

"Wake up?" I grumbled. "How can I when I never fell asleep…?"

"This is a _farm_, you shithead," Takakura explained, "you're _supposed_ to be up early."

"It's four A.M.!" I cried. But it was no use. Takakura forced me to do farm chores.

"So," he said, the morning mist hanging light in the air, standing there, relaxing, while I pushed Malon out the barn door ALONE, "where _were_ you last night?"

I tried my hardest to put a straight face on, but it was just too hard. I turned to the cow and started to brush it. It mooed happily. "I was, uh, I...heard someone scream, and it turned out that they were stuck under a bush, so I cut through it with my sword. After that, I had to take them back, and they thanked me, and then I had to walk a long way back."

"And all of that took you, let's see……10 hours?" Takakura asked.

Well…he had me there…I swallowed hard, and thought of an excuse for why it took me ten hours. "I went to the bar afterwards…?

"Oh, well, no harm done," he said. Obviously, the bar was a good excuse for coming home late in _this_ town. He led me into the barn, where Malon was laying down, blinking at us peacefully (and rather cutely) and eating. He stood next to her and folded his arms, gesturing his head towards her. "Okay, I'm gonna show you how to milk a cow. I don't have a milking machine, so you'll have to milk it yourself. Now, grab the udder, and- NO, WHAT THE HELL! Gently, idiot!" He was very impatient…

By the time we were done, I had a bruised shoulder, milk was all over the place, hay was flying around every corner, and my hair was doused. "That was fun!" I said with a cheerful smile.

"WHAT THE HELL IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU!" Takakura screamed. He liked yelling at me for some reason…had I done anything _wrong_?

"Hehe." I stretched my arms above my head and groaned a little (more like sighed, maybe). "Well, I'm gonna go to the nearby Ranch. See ya!"

"And come back with a chicken, you hear!" he called after me. He shook himself off. "Good for nothing…"

>>>>>>>

_A/N_: If anyone gets the chance, or is even _reading_ this, look up Asturd Gilberto and buy one of her CDs. It's knockout music all the way.


	4. Number One

_A/N_: Update.

**Review Responses:**

_Karlminion_- I already responded to _your_ review.

_Karen Moondrop_- Yes! I updated! Enjoy!

>>>>>>>

_Chapter Three:_ **Number One**

_(Shep, Ann, and Gray; Highway 61, Oh, Forget It)_

Green Ranch was (and still is) much bigger than my ranch ever was or is. The pastures were much neater and much more open (I really had my work cut out for me, speaking of those pastures) (I'm trailing). The fencing was really impressive- neat fence that stretched in a perfect set of lines around the perimeter of the farm. The buildings looked sturdy; but what was really great was the atmosphere. You could never go into Green Ranch and feel unwelcome, even with Gray's defensive antagonizing. Maybe it was Ann…

The only thing I didn't like at first was Shep. Shep was a sheep dog, and a big one, too. And he was taught to be very protective of the animals by, who else, but Gray.

I saw the dog from a distance running to me. I smiled and knelt down. "Heeey, cutie!" I called, "C'mere, boy, c'mere!"

Well, I guess he _partially_ listened to me, because he ran over to me and jumped on me- all _x_-amount of pounds of him. "AHHH! Off, boy! Off!"

Two girls ran outside. One was wearing beat up…whatever that blue material was, and the other was Karen. "Hey!" Karen called. "Shep! Get off!" She knelt down next to me and tried to pry him off.

It responded by biting into me, the small, sharp teeth sinking into my arm. "AHHHOWCH! Get this dog off, please!"

I couldn't really see the others too well from where I was, but I heard someone laughing- a male voice. "This is _rich_. Hahaha," he laughed.

"Gray!" the other girl yelled, "It's not funny! Stop laughing! Get him _off_ Link!"

How did she know my name? I put a palm down on the ground and my other hand on the dog's torso, trying to push him off. No use- the dog was all muscle, and knew how to keep its ground. I started to find it funny and finally plopped down in the dirt, laughing some.

"Fine," "Gray" mumbled. He laughed some more. "Okay, fine. Shep! C'mere!" he said. I winced- Karen later said that he "sounded like a Nazi," and after hearing one, I agreed. He whistled for the dog and it ran lopsided over to him. He barked. Gray hugged him, muttering, "Good boy," and giving him some kind of biscuit.

"No!" the girl contradicted, snapping her fingers as I struggled up, "Bad Shep! Don't attack Link again!"

But Shep had the innocent look on- even _I_ had to feel bad for the little guy. His ears were tucked close to his head, and he whimpered. "Awww," I crooned. Karen stared at me flatly and rolled her eyes. I reached down to pet him, even with my bleeding arm. "S'okay, Shep." He lashed out to bite me again, but I withdrew.

"I don't know what's gotten into him," said the girl with a very cute smile. She had orange-red hair in a high hairstyle, and these BIG blue eyes, with a small nose and a small mouth. She looked very healthy and very happy, but with a ruddy country girl air that reminded me of Malon. She stuck out her hand. "_I'm_ Ann, and this is my brother, Gray. Say 'hi,' Gray."

"Hmph," Gray grunted.

Ann rolled her eyes. "Excuse him. He's _socially inept_. But he's a good guy, once you get to know him." Gray grunted again- obviously he didn't like me. "And _you're_ Link. I've heard a lot about you." For some reason, Karen blushed and turned away.

"Oh, really?" I asked, cocking my head.

"Yeah, really," she responded, grinning.

"No way," Karen said, interrupting. "Look, why're you here?"

I blinked. "I need to get a chicken. Takakura sent me. Also, I wanted to talk to you."

Karen looked at me funny. "What about?"

"Just stuff," I said, shrugging. "But it looks like I'm interrupting? I should go."

"No way! You have gotta stay," Ann decided. "Me and Karen just made lemonade. And you can talk to Gray! How fun."

I looked at Gray. Not to be mean, but when a person looks at Gray, "fun" doesn't really come to mind.

>>

Gray didn't prove very interesting conversation, 'cept when he told me I was "unusually naïve." I didn't understand that much, but it made me think a little. The only things I could really get him to talk about were animals, like my ranch animals, and some plants. I tried weather, but he just gave me a forecast in a creepily robotic tone that made me shut up.

Karen and Ann giggled and cackled and rolled eyes throughout the whole thing. The lemonade was good, but I'd never tasted it before, so I didn't know what exactly good lemonade tasted like. It was good enough for me, though! I stayed quiet, except when I tried to get Gray to talk.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Time to get a watch," Gray grumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"……"

I shrugged and asked Ann. "Do you know what time it is?"

Ann looked up at a cow-printed clock on the wall. "A quarter to ten- shoot, we gotta get going on that farm work!"

"I should get going, too," I said, getting up and stretching. "Takakura's gonna be pissed!" I laughed.

Karen rolled her eyes. "Isn't he _always_ like that?"

We went outside- the sun was shining brightly. I wondered what season it was- summer? The end of summer, I knew, because the end of summer felt just like that in Hyrule- hot, muggy, humid. Good weather, just a little…gross.

Shep ran to me lopsidedly, and attacked me again, pinning me against the wood wall of the small cabin where Gray slept. "Ahh! Down, Shep!"

"Bad Shep!" Ann said, trying to pry the big dog off of me. Gray was laughing quietly in the background.

"Shep! Shep you stupid moron! Get offa him!" Karen snapped.

It may seem stupid to you, but when you really think about it, I couldn't _kick_ the dog off me…and it was too strong to push back. I needed help!

Drum roll, please…

Sheik!

We heard a clear, high-pitched whistle from nearby. We looked. I felt Shep's weight lift off me and go to Sheik at the entrance to the ranch; Sheik knelt to him and gave him his hand. Shep licked Sheik's face and Sheik pet him. "Good boy." Shep sat obediently at Sheik's feet.

"Sure seems to like _you_ a whole lot," I grumbled.

Sheik stood up. I noticed that his hair was…blonde. Well, not a blonde like mine, but a more dirty blonde. I also noticed how particularly short he was. Tee hee. "I was hoping to run into the two of you," he said, calmly. He looked up. "Bad news comes soon. I can feel that." He paused, looked through a leather satchel slung loosely around his shoulders, and pulled something out. It glinted sharply in the hot rays of the sun. "Here, take this." He threw it to me. I looked at it. It looked like a magnifying glass…it was purple, made out of a heavy mineral, with a small gold ring around the end of its handle. The lens of it was bulging weirdly out of it, and was a translucent purple color, like a purple film. I touched it. It was glass. I turned it to the sun, and a red slit ran through the center; three ruby pointers were at the top. I looked at him questioningly. "It's called the Lens of Truth. It may need some fixing up, however. I suggest you take it to a tool shop."

"What's it do?" I asked, pointing it up at the sun. My forehead started to burn, so I stopped doing it.

"It can sense the asomatous and immaterial; it can show the secrets and guides of a surrounding area. It can also show you the aura of a person- it should be quite useful to you," he said. "I had forgotten to give it to you when we met last."

Karen looked suspicious. "How do _you_ know all of this?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I am a minstrel," Sheik said, casually. "I hear things where I go. I report back to Link. Any other questions before I take my leave?"

"Who are you?" Ann asked. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Even in the sun's glare I could see Sheik turn deep red underneath the bandages. "Uhh, I, uhmmm………no……I will see you again, Link."

"Okay," I replied. "Have a safe leave!"

Sheik stopped in his tracks and turned around. "Oh. I forgot." He held a red charm on a bracelet on his wrist to Ann and Gray. "That will be all." He disappeared.

"That was Sheik," Karen said, looking a little embarrassed.

"What was Sheik?" Ann asked. She laughed. "You're weird. What're you talking about?"

"Didn't you just-…see him? He came and disappeared!" Karen said, flustered.

"You're going crazy," Ann said. "I didn't see anyone except you and these two studs next to us. You're _loco_."

Karen walked close to me and whispered, "What the Hell is wrong with her?"

I thought. I'd seen that charm somewhere before…OH, yeah! "Sheik erased their minds of that," I said, "Only old witches use it, so I wonder why it worked with him."

"I _wonder_," Karen replied sarcastically. She turned back to Ann. "Link needs to buy his stupid chicken."

"Oh, okay. Just go inside and talk to my Dad- he doesn't bite!"

I walked inside, to discover that her Dad _did_ bite…just not in the way Ann had said. "Hi!" I chimed, walking in. "I need to buy a chicken!" I looked around, where I could only see bags of feed and bottles of liquid medicine. "Uh, where're the chickens?"

"Out in the barn," her father said. He walked in from another room; he was a portly man with a red mustache and small blue eyes. He looked friendly enough, in his own rugged way. "What can I do ya for?"

"I need a chicken," I said.

"Alright," he said, taking a small notebook out, and putting on small reading glasses. "That's 500G. You got that?"

"Yep, sure do," I said, taking out my wallet and a few rupees.

"Good, then! Well, then, Greenhorn, sign here and tell me where I can ship it." He turned the notebook to me. I got a little nervous, remembering that I couldn't write in English…oh, man…I tried to scrawl an "L," but it came out looking like an arrow with a long tail. I tried to write a "G," thinking that he though my real name was Greenhorn, but it came out looking like part of the "L." He took the notebook. I laughed nervously. "Interesting signature. Where should I ship it?"

"Oh, uh, the ranch down the road. At the intersection?"

Suddenly, his tone grew dark. The whole room seemed tense. It felt like there was an invisible force pressing down on me and casting the room in a dark play. "Oh. So you're one of _them_."

"…Uhmm, eh, one of _who_, Sir?"

"One of those _rivals_," he said. "Well, Greenhorn, you know what that means. I'll give you your chicken, but look out. We're in competition. I'll try to watch your back, but, ah, well, you see, accidents happen. And people also do things on purpose." He looked at me with a casual killer's eye. "But, ah, next time you see me coming, you better run."

"…" I was silent. I didn't know _what_ to say…Jeez, was everyone in this town so weird? I thought of maybe pulling out my sword if her lunged at me, but then he started to laugh.

"Haha! That was great. Bob Dylan song- haven't you heard it? _Highway 61_- oh, forget it.I really had you going for a second, huh?" He smiled and put the order form away. "Hah, hah! Well, I'll get that chicken to you, and you can pay me then. No hard feelings, right?"

"Ah…hehe, uhmm, right!" I said, quickly and nervously. "Uhmm bye!"

>>>>>>>

_(Hotel California)_

I went out with Takakura later. It was a little chilly out. "You have a jacket?" he asked, from the closet in his house.

I shook my head. "No."

He tossed me one. I held it up. It was brown, with some kind of weird fake fur on the collar. I liked it. "You're gonna need one," Takakura muttered, "It's chilly."

"Really? This morning it was pretty nice out."

"Yeah. Now it's night," he grunted. "I'm ready. Let's go."

We started out to the nearby pathway. It was a little chilly out- maybe Fall was coming. I shrugged into the jacket. Takakura looked at me weirdly. "What country are you from, anyway?"

"Oh, me?" I thought for a long time, debating whether or not I should tell him.

"Okay, whatever. If it takes you that long to think about it it's not worth hearing," he said, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Why'd you ask?" I asked, looking around.

He shrugged. "I dunno. You're strange. That's all _I_ have to say."

"Oh," I said, reflecting on Gray's previous comment. "Where're we going today?"

"Bar," he said roughly. "Just be careful not to piss anyone off. Not that you can help it." He scratched his chin. "Come to think of it, just be silent."

"Okay!" I said. "Jeez. Is it chilly…"

I could hear music from inside the bar- was it fiddle music? It was lively. There was a tambourine tinkling in the background, and I could also hear a piano's keys. It seemed nice, until I heard some people shouting. It sounded sort of rowdy in there…but a crowd was good.

We walked in. The colors of the bar were warm and vivid. No one noticed us come in- it was all really involved and chaotic in there. I noticed Ann's father, and Gray, and the man from the vineyard drinking solemnly at his own table. There was a sort of rugged guy in shabby clothing sitting quietly with a larger friend, and two guys (one with a small black mustache and one in a blue suit) were sitting relatively close to the barroom counter. A barmaid with strawberry blonde braids was serving with Karen. They were discussing something by the counter. I jumped and waved to get Karen's attention; she noticed me and blushed, and turned away. Her friend nodded at me.

"Will you stop jumping!" Takakura hissed.

"Sorry," I replied. We sat down next to the rugged guy and his friend.

"Hey," Takakura grunted.

I smiled brightly. "Hi!"

"Hey, Tak," the large, burly man said, "Who's your friend?"

"Friend?" Takakura asked, looking somewhat confused. He looked at me and blinked. "Oh, him. This is Link. He now owns the farm."

"Well!" the large man said, giving me his hand, "Isn't that swell! I'm Zack! I run the shipping and food in the town, but you don't see too much of the latter when I'm around! Hah! Hah!" He quieted down and took a swig of the amber alcohol in his mug. "Well, I'll be helping you on the farm, anyways. Give me a call if you need some heavy lifting to be done."

I smiled and nodded, and looked at the other guy. "Hi! I'm Link!"

The other guy looked terrified, with his eyes wide open, like I had just insulted his mother or kicked his puppy…He had blonde and brown hair (that oddly resembled Karen's) tied back into a ponytail; actually, he strongly resembled Karen, with his slightly feminine features. The only difference was that he had brown eyes and looked like a, excuse my language, dirty ass hobo.

"That's Cliff," Takakura grumbled. "Don't talk to him."

"Why not?" I asked, cocking my head.

"Because he's drunk, you idiot! What did you _think_?" Takakura snapped. "Inebriated! Intoxicated! Smashed!"

Zack laughed tremendously and slapped Cliff on the back. "Yep! He's buzzed. When he starts to get drunk he gets paranoid and nervous, but he's basically a happy drunk, so don't be too afraid. He just needs some more drink. Karen! More drink!"

"I'm _busy_," she called, putting someone's drink on the table and scowling, "Why dontcha ask _Chenault_?"

Zack blushed a faint shade of red. Takakura leaned to me. "He has a crush on the barmaid," he whispered. I nodded somewhat understandingly.

We had a couple of more drinks. Cliff proved to be a really, _really_ happy drunk, smiling with his face all red and his eyes foggy. Everyone was having a time, except that there was one table at the corner of the bar that was eerily silent.

"Hey, Takakura," I said, looking over to the table, "What's wrong with them?"

"With who?" Takakura asked. He looked back at the table. "Oh, them. Don't mind 'em. They're always having a bad time, or so it seems. They're an angry drunk table." I watched them for a little while longer, until Takakura smacked me on the head, snapping, "What the Hell's the matter with you? Staring is rude!"

"Owch! Sorry!" I replied, rubbing the back of my head.

"Whatever," Takakura grumbled, and took a swig of his beer. I rocked on the two back legs of my chair and drank, listening to the conversation around me. It all blended in nicely, the way rain does, incoherent but with a steady beat. I liked it. I couldn't really differentiate one voice from another because they all sounded the same to me, in good spirits and high. Someone was singing a song called "Hotel California" in adrunken slur nearby.I smiled and looked around at posters and flyers and other stuff hanging in the bar, this old wine bottle kept in a case near the bar, just little things. I was still rocking back and forth when my ears picked up a different pitch in the noise:

"Yeah? Well who the Hell do you think _you_ are! You're farm shit!"

"You're drunk. Take it easy." (Gray's voice.)

"Take it easy!" (Laugh.) "Tell me to 'take it easy,' you Nazi freak…"

"That's enough, now, Kai." (Ann's father's voice.)

"Will you shut up?" (Vineyard man's voice, a little loud from his table.)

"Don't tell me to shut up! You're a Nazi too! I don't need this shit!"

I looked back over my shoulder slightly, to see who was putting up the fight. I saw a dark-skinned guy with a purple bandanna and ruddy clothing looking drunk and angry and slightly sad. The bartender walked over to him. I listened.

"Listen, man," the bartender said, lowly, "Do what you need to do. Just don't do it here. Okay? You're disturbing some of the drinkers." He nodded over at me. I turned away hastily.

"Hey! They! Well, they can just go and screw themselves! I'm tired of being told what to do!" the dark man spat, "And no one is telling _me_ what to do anymore! I'm high-tailin' it outta here, man! I'm gonna do something, man!"

"Hey!" The vineyard guy practically screamed over the noise. The noise level dropped- a lot of people were turned around. "Why don't you shut up, you damn border jumper!" Half of the bar went quiet. I wondered what that mean- "border jumper."

The dark skinned guy took it to full offense, so I guess it was bad. "Don't tell me to shut up, you slave driver! You do nothing but order me around and I'm sick of it! Who are _you_ t'tell me around, anyway? You can't even be good to your own _daughter_!"

"Shut up, Kai!" Karen snapped. The whole bar was quiet. The strawberry-blonde girl stayed silent behind the counter. The bartender put his hand in his head. I wondered what was going on, and how Karen knew him.

"My daughter! You ain't good enough for my daughter, you lazy ass!" the vineyard guy slurred. "I give you work and you repay me with this shit! You should just go off with the hobo! Where you belong!"

There was a pause. Cliff stood up, face still red. "Well- I'm done with this," he said, somewhat loudly, and got up from the table.

The dark skinned guy tagged along. "I'm going, too!"

There was an awkward kind of silence before the bar gradually started to get louder and more comfortable. Takakura nudged me and put his coat on. "We're leaving."

"Okay," I said, getting up.

We walked out. I sighed. "So what was that about?"

"Don't ask," Takakura said. "Some people in this town are just really fucked-up. My advice is to not associate with them. That's how I get by…"

We saw Cliff and the dark-skinned guy up ahead yelling and screaming and singing and laughing.

"We're gonna paint the town red! _Play some pool! Skip some school! Act real cool, stay out all night…so Rosie come out, tonight…Yeeeaaaaah Rosie come out, tonight…Lieutenant Rosie, and I don't wanna…be your son…_"

Takakura shook his head. "Young idiots, both of them…you wouldn't understand."

"I guess not," I shrugged.

Up ahead they were still laughing. "Kai…where're you gun go? I mean you can't go back there, not after…that…uhmm…"

"I'm going to stay with Popuri! She'll take care of me!" "Kai" said triumphantly. "That girl told me that she'd look after me! Or I'll go with Elli! Or even Maria! Karen's always shutting me up and Ann's a little slut! Hahah!"

"Ann's a kind person," Cliff said, loudly but gently. "I'll walk you there or something."

"Okay! Alrighty! I feel like having…some…_Dom Perignom! _Perignon? Who cares how it's pronounced, ahah!"

"Just walk by them," Takakura said, and I did.

I crashed into bed around 1:00. But I felt like there was something horribly wrong…I tried to sleep.

Takakura fixed things in my room and shut the lights. "Make sure to wake up early. Work starts in five hours. And you can keep the jacket. You'll need it."

"Okay. Thanks, Takakura! G'night!" I chimed.

"Heh," he grunted, and shut the door behind him. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't- I couldn't even blink. Every time I did I felt like something horrible and bad had just flashed before me. I turned over in bed, worried. I started to feel sick to the stomach, or like I had felt when I thought there were monsters around me at night when I was little.

"Link?" Navi's tiny, groggy voice squeaked from near my bedside table.

"Yeah, Navi?" I asked, quietly, turning to her.

"Where the Hell were you!" she hissed, blearily. "I was looking for you! I got worried for you!"

"The bar," I said, and shifted in bed again. The fear started to get worse, like a black lump in the bottom of my stomach, creeping up like tar into my head and freezing there so I couldn't forget it. I tried to get my mind off it by moving around and counting ceiling cracks.

Navi glowed a soft purple color. "Link? You okay?"

I nodded slightly. "Yep. Better than ever. G'night, Navi."

"'Night, Link."

>>>>>>>

_(Number One)_

I went to Green Ranch after farm chores. With Ann and Karen and even Gray I almost forgot about the bad feeling that'd come over me yesterday. Ann had made lemonade again, but this time it tasted really…uhm, horrible. Karen came later than me, explaining about her "dick of a father" "giving her a hassle because" "the asshole was stressed out about Kai leaving." I didn't really intrude on it. We sat outside and watched Gray ride his horses.

Ann sat on the fence and took a bite of her apple. "They're beautiful, no?"

Karen snorted. "If you like big smelly beasts."

"I think so," I said, watching the horses run with Gray. The only people Gray seemed to like were not people at all- they were animals.

Ann scrunched her nose up. "Karen's not really an animal kinda gal." She smiled and stretched. "Me, though- I love animals." She watched Gray for longer. "He's good, huh?"

"Who?"

"Gray."

I nodded. "Yeah, he is."

We waited and talked for a little while before Ann jumped down and set her feet down firmly. "Well, time for a ride!"

"Here she fucking goes again," Karen said, rolling her eyes.

"C'mon, Link!" Ann said, taking me by the wrist. Karen glared jealously at Ann, I don't really know why…"Time for a ride!"

"No time for that," said a voice. We turned. The man in the blue suit from yesterday walked onto the ranch.

"Harris! Hi! What's up?" Ann asked, running to him cheerily. "Any mail today?"

Harris frowned. "Oh, ah, Ann, I have to talk to you."

"Oh. What's up, then?" she said.

"No. I have to talk to you alone. If you all don't mind."

"I don't," I shrugged.

Karen rose an eyebrow and shrugged. "I guess not."

"Just talk to me here," Ann urged, "No one else minds. Besides, I think this'll concern everyone here, right?"

"Ann…" Harris said.

"Harris, just tell me now," Ann laughed. "It can't be too bad." Gray joined us, walking next to Ann.

Harris swallowed and hesitated for a long time. He looked like he had just tasted something bad and sticky and couldn't open his mouth because of it. I felt the same fear washing over me again. "Well…it seems as if there has been a…uhmm, murder. I'm sorry. It concerns you, Ann."

"A murder…" Gray repeated. "Odd. Hasn't been one of those in a long while."

"There's no evidence whatsoever," Harris continued, frowning and diverting from the topic of _who_ had been murdered. Karen looked at me intently. I frowned and nodded slightly. "The police say whoever did it did it good."

"What do you mean, 'no evidence?'" Karen asked, playing detective closely.

"Well, ah, you see," Harris started. He paused and wiped his brow with a handkerchief in stress. "Well, there was no blood, for one- just the body in the middle of the square. It was twisted, horribly twisted…" He paused, looking fully tense. "They say Popuri actually saw it happen…she's in trauma now. She was found in the square, along with the body…it was…terrifying. It was horrible. I'm sorry…, Ann, I'm sorry…"

"Who was it?" Ann asked, with a look of dread on her face.

Harris was silent. He turned a little to the right but said nothing. I looked at Karen, who looked just as terrified as Ann.

"…I'm sorry, Ann," Harris said. "I'm sorry to be the one to break the bad news. I…it was…I'm sorry. Cliff is dead."

>>>>>>>

_A/N_: "Hotel California-" _The Eagles  
_"Highway 61 Revisted-" _Bob Dylan_  
"Senorita Rosalita-"_Bruce Springsteen_

If I forgot any other song- ah, screw it.


	5. Playing Detective

_A/N_: Two chapters for ya. Aren't I spectacular.

**Review Responses**

_Karen Moondrop_- Hmm…ho hum. That's true, that's true…well, to me, she seems like a girl who likes dogs, cats, you know, domestic, household animals- not farm animals. I myself don't really like animals at all…Hahaha. Anyway, a lot of this chapter (and the chapter following it) is narrated by Karen, and I'm guessing you prefer Karen's narrative? Well, read on! Huzzar!

>>>>

_Chapter Four:_ **Playing Detective…Cliff, From the Bar…An Introduction to Karen…**

_(1- In All Truthfulness)_

We paused. Cliff? That guy from the bar?…Suddenly the ranch, in its open air, felt just like a room, like a box, back in some dungeon, with spikes closing in and freezing just when you thought it would hit you. Anxiety and release- the feelings from the people around me were almost too much to bear, too many emotions tangled into each other. I looked at Ann.

She was stifling tears. Her upper lip quivered. I knew the feeling, that sort of, "I'm not gonna cry" feeling you get when you're little. She tried to open her mouth and smile, but she broke down into hysterical sobs. She sobbed into Gray's shoulder, and he stroked her hair, and she screamed incoherent things- "No! Cliff…it can't be! I don't believe it! He's not dead! He can't be dead! He's not dead! _Please_, _please_ tell me he's not dead…" She looked up at Harris, her face puffy and red and tear-stained. I really thought I would cry, too. That's how awful it was. And when Harris didn't respond, she went into this quiet, weird sort of weepy crying. "I'm so…I couldn't…not Cliff…oh, God…Cliff……it…what…" Gray held her tightly.

I looked at Karen. She looked more angry than sad, her fists clenched and balled up, with tears streaming down her face. She looked pissed and ready to murder someone. "Ann," she burst out, awkwardly. I really felt that I'd cry- I couldn't take all the feelings around me. Everyone tells me I'm very sensitive, and I guess it's true.

I turned to Gray and Harris. Harris looked guilty and shameful, and started to offer options to easily get rid of some pain. "I'll stay…I'll try to help in any way I can. I'm sorry to have had to tell this to you…" Gray's cap was shading his eyes, so I couldn't see them rightly.

"I'm sorry," I blurted, just as quickly and eagerly as Karen. My face got red and I could feel salt water trickling up my throat. Gray paused and looked up at me. Harris looked confused, just like Karen.

Ann paused and broke away from Gray gratefully, managing to break a smile. "Don't cry," she said, breaking a smile and touching my cheek with her palm, "It's not your fault." She sobbed heavily. "It'll be okay." I hugged her close. I could still feel her crying.

I looked into the room where Karen and Ann had hid out. Karen was still hugging Ann, who looked like she was asleep. They had stayed in Gray's room after it had happened, and no one had bothered them for a couple of hours. They made me sit down with "the men," like I was some kindergartner, while they talked about funeral preparations and Ann and had some drinks.

I walked in quietly. "Hey," I greeted.

"Hey," Karen replied, mutedly. She shifted positions very gently so as to not wake Ann up and sat up in the bed. "She's sleeping." She frowned bitterly. "God, she's so tired." She looked like she had something on her mind. I sat next to her and looked at her intently. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "I just feel like it's all my fault. I mean, goddammit, I knew about this. I knew someone could have gotten killed…I could have helped-"

I touched her hair and frowned. She really was a stress-freak…"It's not anyone's fault," I tried to convince her, but then scratched my head. "Well, except for, you know." I hugged her. "It'll be okay. Ann even told me so!"

"I hope so," Karen said, flushing fierce red (she must have cried some…? Or had she?) and pushing me off. She looked at the ceiling. "Ann is my best friend. It's hard for me to see her like this. I gotta make her happy, somehow…"

"That would be good," I said, smiling brightly. I laughed a little. "Man, but I hardly even know her! Though, I feel bad…" I frowned. "Like it happened because of me. Maybe Ganon's testing me, but I…why would he do _that_? It makes no-"

She put her hand over my mouth and smiled comfortingly- even though Karen was not the comforting type. "Listen. It's not your fault. If you hadn't come, more people would die- and we wouldn't be able to stop it."

I frowned deeper. I didn't know what to say. I still felt bad, too bad to calculate. "It's just……"

>>

_(2- Link, Karen, and Hercule Poirot; Domestic Chaos)_

Karen and I were searching the town. Now, I wasn't one for the whole detective bit, but Karen seemed into it- it wasn't really my idea, but I went along with it. Plus I thought of this as Karen's way of solving the problem. I wondered what she'd've done if she never met me- would she just comfort Ann, or still play detective?

I didn't really care, either way. I had pushed Cliff's funeral from a week ago as far as I could in the dark places of my mind, and the weather was nice. Ann had been cheery, after crying and starving herself and isolating herself for five days or so. I didn't trust that she was really happy, but I was happy that there was a possibility that she could be happy (wow…confusing sentence to say! Betcha couldn't say it five times fast! Try it!). Karen, though, was being Karen- determined and stubborn. Navi was with us, and she was squeaking and nagging most or all of the time.

We were in the main part of town, with the bakery and the Church and the florist. I was swinging my arms heavily- the weather had cooled down from a week ago. And to think that it had only taken me a week to adjust to the town! Anyway, we were having trouble with our inspection…

"What the Hell!" Karen barked, frustrated, "How are we supposed to figure anything out when there's not even any fucking evidence!"

"Well, let's just figure out plausible solutions!" I said, trying to be cheery.

"Easy for you to say, Inspector Gadget! You're having a merry fuckin' time while I'm here thinking I'm gonna get murdered if I round another corner!"

"You don't have to get so stressed…"

"I do too, ya jackass!" Karen snapped. "Now, stop being so stupid and ditzy and try to figure something out!"

"HEY!" Navi yelled, buzzing out of my cap. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE ARGUING ABOUT, BUT I BETTER DAMN WELL BE INCLUDED!"

"Oh, Lord," Karen muttered, "How the _Hell_ did I get stuck with _you_ freaks!"

We were silent for a while longer. My stomach rumbled. I looked up at Karen, who was walking far ahead. "How long have we been out?" I asked.

"How the Hell should _I_ know?" Karen snapped, not even looking back to me. "Oh, I'm sorry, let me just get out my _timer_. Jackass!"

I was quiet, until I started to get hungry. "I'm hungry," I whimpered.

Karen paused, then sighed. "Okay, _fine_. We'll stop at the bakery."

Our day went by like that- she yelled at me and I tried to be helpful and nice and cheery. In the long time that I've known Karen, I've noticed some things about her- I knew that she was impatient and she had a flaring temper. She had a sailor's mouth and fire-eyes, and she was just an interesting person to study. She had a tendency to snap at people, and she drank far too much. Actually, she seemed very arrogant and aggressive and sarcastic and mean and all that jazz, but in actuality, Karen must have been one of the saddest, strangest people I ever knew. She seemed tough, but she also had a weird vulnerability about her. She seemed wayward and egoistic, but at times she was very insecure, and very shy. It was hard to explain. She was very anti-social, and something told me that she had had some bad past experiences, but I didn't ask.

She listened to music, but she never talked about it. When I asked, she'd roll her eyes and make a comment. She liked wine and she liked dancing- I knew that from the party after the funeral. Karen usually got very stressed very easily, and she was a workaholic. Sometimes she worried, and sometimes she slacked. Call me crazy, but I liked her a lot, even after only a week, and even though I really didn't know her that well yet. We acted like strangers, and the only time we didn't was when she yelled at me.

Anyway, our day went by quickly. We were actually doing a good job, until…

"What are you two doing here?" I turned around to see little Mayor Dougherty, looking authoritarian. I gulped.

"What? What do you mean?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

"I'm sorry to put the stop sign on you young detectives," the Mayor said. He sighed, somewhat sadly. "My wife and I have clearly established a safety law prohibiting the towns yung'uns under the age of eighteen to be out past 7:30 P.M. As you see, it's 7:43…And well, ah, you see, we can't have minors running around unprotected at night. You know about what happened. Now, I'm terribly sorry, and find your attempts to solve this admirable," he said, wiping his face with a handkerchief, "But after what happened, no risks can be taken. The police are on it, though, so don't you worry. I hope you understand. Now, go on home, you two- isn't it almost dinner time?"

Karen sighed. "C'mon, Link, you can stay over my place tonight. We can talk about it _then_. Or is _that_ against the law, too?"

The Mayor looked at us apologetically. "I'm sorry," I said, "but this has really hurt us all…"

Karen's house was nice and clean, with elegantly modern furniture. Well, yeah, it was clean- there was no dust whatsoever, and everything was symmetrical and patterned and in its place. All food was to be eaten in the dining room, and shoes had to be taken off at the porch outside, in a shoe-box type thing. It looked as if an obsessive-compulsive were taking care of it.

That obsessive-compulsive, I soon learned, was Sasha, Karen's mother. "She has nothing better to do with her time, and she hates feeling useless," Karen explained as she took her shoes off, "That's why she cleans all the time. Stupid bitch is restless."

"Oh," I said, and followed Karen in.

Karen's mother was at the door, smiling. She looked like an older, sadder, thinner, swanlike version of Karen. She looked at me, confused. "Oh, ah, who is _this_?"

Karen rolled her eyes. "A friend, _moth-er_," she said, "He's sleeping over."

"What!" a gruff male voice screamed from the kitchen. I jumped when I first heard his voice- it was like a boom from out of nowhere. "C'mon, Karen, what the Hell? You never even _consult_ us!"

"Oh," Karen said, laughing mockingly, "Now I didn't _consult_ him."

"And don't forget, Karen," Sasha reminded her, "you already slept over Ann's yesterday. Don't you think two days over Ann's is enough friends for two weeks?"

Karen sighed loudly and impatiently. "God, it's not like _you're_ taking care of him! I'll take care of him! Why do you have to get involved in _everything_, you stupid idiots!"

"It's rude, and you're rude, you little ingrate!" Gotz yelled.

"Oh, shut up, you fucking yeti!" Karen said, and pulled me by the wrist up the staircase in the corner. I rushed up with her, flustered by all the yelling.

"Excuse me, young lady?" Gotz yelled from the first floor. I could hear his footsteps coming from the kitchen to the stairwell. He came to the bottom of the stairs with a tomato and the knife he'd been chopping it with. "You come back down these stairs this instant!"

I was panicking on the stairs, with her calm and next to me- well, next to me, at least. "Screw you, Gotz!" Karen yelled.

"Watch that tongue, young lady!" Sasha yelled, walking over to Gotz from the living room. I was getting nervous, and I felt like I was hyperventilating.

Gotz huffed, "Come down here this instant! I'll teach you to cuss at me!"

Karen opened the door to the room at the top of the stairs. "I HATE YOU!" she shrieked. I had to cover my ears just to bear it. "I HATE YOU! SCREW YOU GUYS!"

"Come down here right now, Karen, before I come up there!" Sasha yelled sternly up the stairs.

Karen was apparently not too tolerant with her parents. "OH, I HOPE YOU GET CANCER!" she said, with a "fuck you!" tone.

"COME DOWN HERE NOW!" Gotz screamed, his face getting red with anger.

"Oooh, is that a _threat_?" Karen said in sarcasm. "Ooh, I'm scared, Gotz!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT SCARED IS WHEN _I'M_ DONE WITH YOU!" Gotz yelled.

"FUCK YOU!" she yelled. "GO TO HELL!" We went in. She slammed the door.

I sat on the bed, shaking and terrified. For a second, I was glad I never had a family. But I quickly decided differently.

"Help me barricade the door," Karen said, pushing a large chest of drawers to the door. I got up and brought a lamp and put it on top. "He's gonna kick my _ass_ if he gets in here." Something in her tone told me he really wouldn't, but I stayed quiet.

I helped her push a couple of small furniture items to the door. She sat on her bed and looked away from me. "I'm sorry that happened while _you_ were over," she apologized.

I did my best not to seem as frightened as I already was. "S'okay. It's really not a big deal."

She turned back. "Whatever…" she mumbled. I guess she didn't like her own house that much…"We have to find out who's behind the Marionette Killing!"

The Marionette Killing? Well, it was a good name, or so I thought. "Good name!" I said. "But we can never do it fast enough to save _everyone_…"

Karen looked at me fiercely and pounded her fist into her palm. "Well, then, we have to abide by the law!"

I paused and looked at her, and then burst out laughing. "What!" she cried. "What's so damn funny?"

I stopped laughing for a moment and blinked. "Don't you mean _disavow_ the law?" I said.

She pushed me. "Oh, shut up, stupid. I just mixed them up, that's all. Stop laughing!" She sometimes had a funny way of saying "stupid" that made it sound like "stupit."

I still laughed for half a minute more. "I'm sorry," I said, "That struck me as funny for some reason."

"It better be a good reason," Karen said. "So you mean that 'disavow' means to rebel against?"

"Yep," I said, nodding.

There was a tap on the window. We looked over at it. Karen walked over and said, "Oh, you. Why didn't you just poof yourself in?"

"My powers are weakening," Sheik said, climbing in from the window. "Thank you."

I ran to the window. I was relieved, in a way, to see Sheik. But Navi always got the last laugh, I guess. "Well! Two times in one week!" Navi exclaimed. "Are you lucky or _what_?"

"Shuddup, Navi," I replied. She was really sick with all the Sheik jokes. I have to admit it was funny at first, but, after a while, it got really offensive and annoying. Plus she would also always have to go off on unnecessary tangents about sex and everything and…

"Have you two-"

"Karen!" the interrupting voice of Karen's mother called. We turned to the door, even though she wasn't there. It was sort of a reflex, I guess.

"Yes, mother!" Karen asked back.

"Come down for dinner!" her mother called, "I made a steak!"

Karen rolled her eyes. "Coming, mother! C'mon, Link, Sheik, let's go down," Karen said, pushing the bureaus and chairs back where they belonged.

"How come _I_ don't get to come?" Navi whined in a pouty tone.

"Because I don't think my mother set a plate for a _fairy_," Karen replied, rolling her eyes.

"I won't come," Sheik said.

"Oh, you're very damn well _coming_," Karen replied, in a threatening tone.

"No, I'm not."

"Look! Do you want _him_ to give away some of your little 'secrets!'" Karen snapped, pointing to me.

Sheik was silent. "I s'pose not…"

We marched downstairs and into the dining room. The long, cherry wood table was set with a steak, a tomato salad, and plain tomatoes. Maybe those were the tomatoes Gotz had been chopping up earlier…

We sat down in order, with Karen next to her mother at her father's right side, and me and Sheik across from Karen and her mother. Gotz looked up from the tomatoes he was peppering and made a snort-grunt noise. "Who's _this_ weirdo?" he asked.

"This is Sheik, _Gotz_," Karen said. "He came in with us. Are you _blind_ or something?"

"Whatever……"

Sasha looked at me with a tired smile as I ate. "How do you like your food?" she asked. She had transformed from a total wench to a loving housemom in all of ten minutes. Which scared me even more.

I smiled. "It's really good. Thanks!"

Sheik politely finished chewing his food before talking. "It's some of the best I've tasted. Thank you."

"So, where do _you_ come from?" Gotz asked. "Weirdo land?"

"Gotz!" Sasha scolded.

I smiled again. "It's fine," I said. "I'm from Hy-"

"He's from Europe," Karen interrupted, eating some more tomatoes. "From Hungary."

Sasha looked interested. "Is he, now? Are you Austrian-Hungarian, or just Hungarian? Because I swore I saw Austrian in you when I first met you." Well, not exactly _interested_- I think she was just too polite to not act interested.

"Yeah, I'm Austrian-Hungarian," I said.

She smiled and looked back down at her plate. "Well, that's sort of interesting," she said, "because I never knew they _used_ rupees in Austria or Hungary! Strange, no?"

I didn't know what to do. I gulped and stared at Karen to wait and see what _she_ would do. She's a genius when it comes to deviation and clever deception.

"He was born in Hungary," Karen explained, if somewhat nervously, "but when his father became a missionary, the family moved to India, where they used rupees. He lived there even after his mother and father died in a political riot. After that, he ended up traveling the world with Sheik and his caravan of…traders, but all the members of the caravan died in a freak illegal cargo accident, and four were left- Link, Sheik, and two others."

"Must have been frightening," Sasha said, eating more meat in a polite and small manner. Man, she really wanted to crack us like tiny little eggs. With feet. Tee hee. "Tell me about the experience, Sheik."

Sheik swallowed his steak (he had taken down some of his face mask, but, damnit, I never noticed it was off- I never got a _glimpse_ of his face; he was good at being quiet about it, damn him). "It was terrifying. We were shipping Russian-manufactured guns, which the Russians didn't like. Link and I, who were in charge-" I grinned- "were overseeing the export, when the Russian agents came and shot the lot of them, bombed the goods, as well. Link and I escaped, but barley- we had to go quickly, because of the explosion. It was adrenaline, in a word."

I thought I would laugh. Even though it was totally bogus- not even _I_ would believe that, and if that's true, then it must have been _pretty_ bogus- he had explained and filled in every minor detail. Nobody could best Sheik on making stupid things up (especially when he was drunk- but that's another story), period. "How exciting," Sasha said. I grinned. Sheik shrugged and slipped his face mask back on.

>>

_(3- What The Hell Kind of Bullshit…A Run-In With Magic)_

"How did you think _that_ up?" I whispered, at the end of the meal. I still wasn't finished- I'm a slow eater.

"Based on personal experience," Sheik replied, lowly. I shuddered. _That_ was kinda scary- I can handle monsters and beasts, Queens of Animals and chimeras, but give me a human who wants money and I'm hopeless.

"Well, dinner was good," Karen said, stuffing handfuls of steak and tomatoes and salad in her mouth quickly, "Bye, now! Gotta go! C'mon, you two!"

"What?" I asked, surprised. "Wait, I'm not do-" She dragged me away before I could even finish my sentence.

Sheik politely put his utensils down. "Thank you for dinner," he said, and left without another word.

Karen slammed the door to her room once we were all in, and turned to Sheik. "What the Hell kind of bullshit was _that_?"

"Your missionary story wasn't much better," Sheik pointed out, offended.

"Well at least it was _believable_! Caravans and guns! You moron!" She flitted around the room restlessly, getting a blanket from her closet and tying it into a rope. "We can get out the window," she said, fastening one of the knots, "and then go into town. The Mayor and his wife will be asleep, and the town's _really_ dark at night, because there are basically zero streetlights in town."

I nodded, though a little doubtfully. If they couldn't see us, how could _we_ expect to see anything? I didn't say anything, though, because I knew Karen would have a fit. But it takes Sheik to steal the words right out of my mouth!

"We won't be able to see anything if it's so dark," he pointed out, matter-of-factly. He didn't bother to address her- he never addresses people when he talks to them- because he can direct what he's saying at you without saying your name.

Karen looked seriously irked. "Well, _thanks_. That's a horribly good point. How _are_ we going to see, then, Oh Great Teacher?"

I looked at Navi- and got an idea! "Navi's like a little light," I replied with a wink. Navi fluttered between the three of us, big showoff that she was.

"Great idea!" Karen exclaimed. "Okay, let's just wait for my parents to fall asleep."

Half an hour passed. We entertained ourselves with Twister-, well, at least Karen and _Navi_ had a good time.

"Okay," Navi dictated, "right hand red."

Sheik was winning. He was the most flexible and acrobatic of all of us, and he was small. Karen was twisted around the board- she was the most unfortunate. "Ow ow ow ow…"

"Okay, Link, left hand yellow."

I knew she was teasing me. I frowned and furrowed my eyebrows. She had been through this whole game, putting me in awkward positions where I would have to cross Sheik. I could hear her and Karen snickering awfully. I tried to ignore them and prove them wrong by getting my left hand on yellow, by God, _without_ getting into an awkward position with Sheik!

I reached over, succeeding in finding one close enough to me and far enough from Sheik. I smiled to myself, but I could still hear Karen and Navi laughing their heads off. I wondered why.

Navi was trying to catch her wicked little fairy breath when she said, "Okay…Hahahaha……Sheik,…right hand……yellow! HAHA!"

Well, the closest yellow to _him_ was over _me_, and going for that would make him topple all over the board, and me. Now I saw what _Karen_ had been laughing about- I guess she just didn't want Sheik to win, for whatever crazy reason Karen had formulated…weird…

Well, it happened. Sheik fell on me and I fell on Karen who promptly barked, while kicking up the Twister board and setting us up in a contortionist's mess, "Shit! Get off me, you big stupid idiots!"

"I _would_," I retorted, "But _Navi's_ the one who put Sheik over _me_!"

Navi glowed reddish-pink. "You never accuse _Sheik_ of doing anything wrong! You're always blaming _me_!"

"That's because you're the most calculating fairy I've ever _seen_!" I replied.

"No!" Navi protested, "You just like Sheik better!"

"Yeah!" Karen shouted, "Give Navi some well-deserved attention and GET THE HELL OFFA ME!"

"Enough!" Sheik yelled, getting really annoyed at us- I could tell by the stressed look on his face. "Your useless arguing is some of the most irritating I've ever heard!"

A look of realization crossed Karen's face. She scoffed and wiggled out from underneath me. "Alright, just clean this up…idiots…"

I cleaned up the mat and some items that had fallen off Karen's shelf when we fell, and Sheik busied himself by carefully gluing the pieces of a flower pot that had broke when we fell together. Navi beat her wings sulkily in a corner of the room. Karen sat on the bed and looked lazily at the ceiling.

The next two hours were spent boringly. We tried to make a pencil rocket to shoot out the window, but we stopped halfway through.

I was sitting at Karen's desk, propping my head in my palm, bored to death and drifting to sleep, when we heard the "television" downstairs get shut off. We heard the noise suddenly stop, and we all looked up at each other from our sleepy dazes. "We're going to bed, now, Karen!" Gotz yelled up the stairs.

"Yes!" Karen whispered to us. She turned to the door. "OKAY, DAD!"

We waited for another half an hour, and once we were _sure_ they were asleep, we started to prepare to leave. We got "flashlights" (which Karen foraged from the depths of her messy closet), a blanket (just in case we got cold or needed to hide- Karen's smart idea) and a snack from the kitchen (because I was really hungry again).

We walked over to the window again. "Now, _how_ are we getting out, again?" Sheik asked, walking over with me and Karen. Navi flitted behind us; with Sheik there, I was almost sure that we'd find out something.

"Rope," Karen said, smirking. She threw the blanket rope over the edge of the window and sat on the windowsill. "I'm an expert," she claimed, in response to my questioning look. I smiled widely. She rolled her eyes and started to climb down. She threw us a hard glance. "Well, gee, I'm not gonna _carry_ you down."

We understood. Navi fluttered behind Karen. I put a leg over the windowsill and threw a smile to Sheik. "Well, here I go!" I attempted to go down, but ended up jerking the rope and almost bringing it over the edge of the windowsill.

"Watch it, moron!" Karen hissed.

"Sorry!" I whispered, going down gently.

Karen and Navi and I waited for Sheik to come down. Much to our surprise, he jumped from the window to the tree and slid down with athletic confidence. Karen and I exchanged glances. "Wow! I never knew the walking bandage campaign could do _that_," Navi said.

Sheik frowned under the bandages. "Of course a bandage campaign can't," he replied, "I, however, can."

"Psh."

The town was pitch dark. Whenever I looked over at Karen, the soft light showed a scared look on her face. Sheik looked calm, but he's good at looking calm when he's scared half-to-death. It wasn't really the easiest thing to walk around at night in a town where a murderer was. I was a little scared myself, though, I was more scared about the Mayor about anything. He looked to me like one of those little Amazonian men who shrink heads and eat people and use spears, and, well, you know, all that weird jungle stuff. His size and his nose scared me, and the calm, placid, indifferent tone he used when he talked about the law.

It was dark. I couldn't see many stars out; well, I could, but a lot less than one could see back in Hyrule. I couldn't really walk without stepping on something sharp or knocking my knees into something or noticing a squirrel run by; I couldn't go without saying "ow!" or "what was that!" or "haha! A raccoon!"

Sheik turned to me and hissed, "Keep it _down_!" I kept.

"Look there," Karen said, pointing over to the bar. I could hear the music; its windows provided the only light in the town. "There's a lot of shady people around there. Check it out."

I took out the Lens of Truth from my rucksack and pointed it at the bar. I looked through it; it looked the same, just with a purple tint from the film-like lens. "I can't see anything," I said.

"Here," Sheik said, reaching over to me and adjusting a few things on it. He moved the three red triangles around, and twisted the gold band around the handle. "There," he said, handing it to me. I took it and looked through it.

"Hey, how'd you do that?" I asked, a little loudly.

"Never mind that," he replied. "I'll show you some other time. Now, tell me what you see."

The walls in the bar had been removed from the lens's view; the men were laughing hard. I saw smoke being blown from one side of the room. There was one man who had a purple glow around him. "How does this thing tell if someone's evil, again?"

Sheik looked questioningly at me. "In this particular setting, it looks to people who have committed some wrong in recent times. Something like theft or deceit will give someone a purple aura. Something as serious as murder, however, will give someone a deep pink or red aura, considering the type of murder. Good auras aren't seen." He cocked his head. "Why? What did you see?"

"Oh, nothing," I said, tucking the Lens of Truth away. "Just some guy who probably stole something."

Karen snapped her fingers. I could feel her breath on my neck; we were all very close to each other. "Damn. Okay, let's look in…there! That's Rick's shop." She was very into this whole detective thing.

I looked into the Lens and gasped deeply. "What!" Karen exclaimed, looking surprised and afraid.

I grinned. "Nothing." I laughed. Karen hit me on the head. "Owww!"

"Moron," she muttered.

"Don't be an ass!" Navi exclaimed.

"Okay," I laughed, "I'm sorry."

I looked at Sheik. His attention had turned to a house across the small cat, like a cat looks at an object no one knows is moving. I poked my head in next to his. "What're you looking at?"

"Look," he replied, pointing at the house. Purple smoke flashed in the window. "There it was again. I've seen it two times already."

Karen nodded. "That's the midwife's house, you know," she said. We looked closer at the window. I could see someone- a silhouette of a person concealed by purple haze ("Purple haze! All in my eyes!") (sorry) and blue flames- a tall person, next to a smaller one.

"I've a mind to see who that is," I said. "Let's try to get in there and-"

"Excuse _me_!" I jumped at the old creaky voice and turned around- an old woman in a deep red dress was standing, impatiently and sternly, with a curled upper lip, and dulled silver hair in braids and a frown. "_I've a mind_ to turn _you_ sprouts in to the Mayor! What are you doing, snooping around an old woman's house!"

"N-n-nothing, Ma'am," Karen stammered. "There's an intruder in your house, and we were inves-investigating it."

"Hmph," the Midwife snorted, "That's no intruder, that's Jeff from the bakery. He's helping me bake a cake for little May!"

"Why is it, uhm, purple?" I asked, trying to peek over her shoulder into the window.

She got close up in my face and sniffed. "What a bold child! It's for the cooking," she said. She chuckled to herself. "I suppose you could say it's magic."

"……Magic……?"

"Yes, magic!" she scoffed, "Good old fashioned midwife's magic. Oh, it's just a trick with some herbs and flowers. It's food coloring, you dolt, so don't look so appalled. Why, May loves the color, don't you know."

"Oh," I said. I looked at Sheik, who wasn't convinced, and then to Karen, who looked like she was going to pounce on her and strangle her. I would've looked at Navi, but she has no facial expressions.

"Now, go on and get, before I give you to the Mayor!"

We pretended to go away, but we just looked at it from a farther distance. I sighed plopped myself on the grass, putting the Lens away. "Nothing."

"Nothing," Karen repeated flatly, following me and sitting down in the grass.

She sighed. "Such are the fruits of the search. I should go." He took a few steps back from us. "It has been a pleasure. I will see you all again." He took another few steps back, and disappeared, vanishing like he had melted into the shadows and become one of them.

"Man, I love it when he does that," Karen said, getting up. "Shall we go home?"

"Sure," I replied, getting up with her. She moved closer to me, and I could feel her hand brush lightly over mine. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know then that she had such a big crush on me. "Uhm…"

"Sorry," she said, taking her hand away and turning hot pink. "I…didn't mean anything by that…Well, anyway, we'll keep on tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"I mean, go home," Karen said. "By yourself," she added with an air of grumpiness.

I was a little offended at her attitude toward me, and by the fact that she thought she needed to walk me home. "I _know_," I said defensively. "Don't go all weird on me, Karen."

"Whatever……" she replied. "See you."

I felt started to feel bad that I had maybe hurt her feelings- I'm such a softie. Hee hee. "I'm sorry…" I said softly.

She turned around. Her eyes narrowed. "It's alright," she said. "I _am_ being weird. Whatever, good night."

I watched her walk away. "Get home safe!" I called after her. She waved goodbye without looking at me.

>>>>

_A/N_: Okay. (Listening: Ziggy Stardust.)


	6. Moonage Daydream Interrogation

_A/N_: Second chapter.

>>>>

_Chapter Five_: **Moonage Daydream Interrogation…It Ain't Easy…**

_(1- I'm Jack- Jack Daniel's…Instant Messaging From Ann…Popuri-Insanity…)_

I woke up groggily. Last night had been _exhausting_. As soon as I came home, I crashed. I hoped I wouldn't have to play Sherlock again for a long while.

"Dammit," I mumbled. I had woken up the way I _used_ to wake up, a long time ago- feeling drunk and stupid and not knowing where the hell I was. Actually, I _had_ been drinking yesterday night, partially because, well, Jack Daniel's was so damn good, and partially because of the situation with Link……I couldn't believe that he hadn't wanted to hold my hand last night- _me_. I wasn't used to being rejected by guys, so I felt angry. But after he apologized, I just felt like a big piece of shit. It wasn't _his_ fault that the feeling wasn't mutual, and I was being a big ass, so to comfort myself, I spent the night with Jack Daniel.

I woke up, anyway, groggy and aching all over my body. I stretched my arms and twisted my waist, and then fell face down in the pillows again. I groaned.

My computer made a noise. I groaned again- Jesus Christ. I got up and sat on the chair in front of the PC, looking at the glowing screen. Hmm. An IM from Ann:

_GreenGrl767: karen? u there?_

I started to type. I actually typed pretty quick for someone who never went online.

_CherryPink89: Yea._

_GreenGrl767: i heard something…_

I rolled my eyes, annoyed at the indirect way she said things. I typed:

_CherryPink89: okay. what was it?_

She stopped typing for a minute- moron. I started to type again, in a rage of flying fingers. If there's one thing you need to know about me, it's that you don't mess with me- especially when I first wake up.

_CherryPink89: are you just going to sit there or talk? cuz i have better things to do_

_GreenGrl767: were u out last night?_

Shit. _Shit_. How did _she_ find out about that?

_CherryPink89:…_

_GreenGrl767: tell me!_

_CherryPink89: yea so?_

_GreenGrl767: karen u could get in 2 serious trouble._

_CherryPink89: wateva, ann, calm yaself_

_GreenGrl767: are you going anywhere today? me and maria r going to visit Popuri…u wanna come with?_

To see Popuri! Obviously, she knew something about what happened to Cliff…I could bring Link! But I didn't want to seem rude, so I typed:

_CherryPink89: yea, is anyone else going?_

_GreenGrl767: y?_

_CherryPink89: God you stupid loser i am just asking_

_GreenGrl767: um yea kai and i think gray_

_GreenGrl767: u should invite Link!_

_CherryPink89: thats sort of rude._

_GreenGrl767: nah. nyways popuri kept muttering something about someone in green. i think she wants 2 talk to link or something. _

While I would have disagreed under normal circumstances because that made no fucking sense, I agreed this time and under _these_ circumstances, and said I'd meet her at her place.

_CherryPink89: ok ill be there bye_

I signed off and got my bomber jacket. "Mom! I'm going out!" I called, swinging by the kitchen.

"Says who?" Gotz said.

"The laws of physics," I replied, putting my jacket on. "See ya."

"Hmmmm."

I walked to Link's farm. The weather was taking an autumn turn. I smiled, feeling nice- it was brisk outside, but sunny. Everything smelled so fresh…a breeze blew by me and rustled my hair. I put my hands in my pockets.

Link's ranch was big, but not _nearly_ as big as Ann's…you could call it cozy, I guess. I personally didn't really like animals, but Link's farm had a lot of plants, too. When I got there, Link was propped up on a hoe, talking to Takakura.

"Hey!" I called, from the entrance. I brushed a blonde bang from my face.

He turned around. I could see that he was wearing his skirt (which he claims is a "tunic") (yeah right) again. He recognized me. "Oh, hey, Kare."

Kare? "I like that," I said. "Get your jacket. We're going out."

"What?" he asked. "Where?"

I rolled my eyes. "We're going to see Popuri."

"Oh," he said, like he understood. He ran inside and got his aviator jacket- which I liked- and turned to Takakura. "Can you put these tools back, Takakura?"

"Whatever you wish, _master_," Takakura grumbled, taking a pile of heavy tools in his arm. Even though I had to endure Link's stupidity, and Sheik had to deal with his clinginess, and Navi had to _live_ with him, the one who received the most abuse from Link was Takakura.

I waved goodbye to him and started to walk to the ranch, with my hands in my pockets. Link ran up behind me. "Why are we going to visit Popuri?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes at him. Well, yeah, I had a _crush_ on him, but usually when I have a crush on someone I let them figure it out themselves. "To find something out, you idiot, what the hell do you _think_?" Navi's squeaking voice asked, as she buzzed out of Link's cap. "Hey, Karen!"

I liked Navi. I could relate to her better than even Ann- I guess we just had similar personalities. I liked her, and could talk to her easily, despite the fact that she was a glowing ball of inhuman light. She seemed even more human than my FATHER, and that's pretty damn human. "Hey, Navi," I said. "I don't know how you can put up with him half the time."

"It's kinda hard," Navi replied, "but he's an overall sweet guy. Maybe a little too sweet. And stupidly naïve."

I shook my hair from my face again. "We're supposed to meet Ann, Gray, and the others over at Green Ranch," I said, throwing my voice back to Link. I noticed how far behind me and Navi he was. "C'mon, stop lagging, you idiot!"

Link ran up to us. "Am I _supposed_ to be with you guys?"

"Yes," I said impatiently. "You got invited by Ann. You should be glad _somebody_ likes you." I knew that, really, _everyone_ liked him- he was just a great guy. Perfect looks, perfect personality, just a whole sickening ball of perfection that had rolled through town. Already I could see the mothers and wives in the square pointing and giggling when he walked by; already I saw men talking with him after church, in stores, at the bar, on the street.

Already I was infatuated with him.

"I guess you're right," he sighed, totally unaware of what I was thinking at the moment, "Ah, whatever, at least we get to see Popuri."

I turned to him. "Have you ever _met_ Popuri?"

He nodded, his bangs shifting a bit. "Yeah, a couple of times. She'd always giggle and smile. She was nice. The first time I met her she was with that girl Celia-"

"Celia?"

Link looked at me, puzzled. "What? Yeah, Celia. Don't you know her?"

I paused to think about that. Celia hadn't been here in a while- she lived with her folks in town, and only worked part-time for Lillia, and even _then_, she didn't really even come to Flower Bud. I was surprised he'd seen her. "What are you talking about?"

"On the second day I was here," he started. He paused, and thought about that. "Wait. Was it the second or the third? I think it was the third, actually…"

"Just go the fuck on!" I snapped. I hadn't realized until now that we'd stopped in the middle of the intersection.

He laughed airily. "Okay, fine. Anyway, I was buying flower seeds, and her and Popuri went into the back room and got them for me. They kept giggling and smiling and winking and stuff. Why?"

I shook my head and looked ahead. I could see someone or some_thing_ moving toward us. I nodded and motioned toward the moving figure. "I guess we'll have to 'delve' into that later. I can see Shep coming."

I looked at Link and couldn't help but smirk. He looked like a terrified seven-year-old, almost _stuck_ to the ground, his face going pale to see that dog running at him, its tongue lashing out, drooling all over himself. Its hair was blowing around itself, and it just looked sort of dumb, running in that stupid, rapid-fire lopsided way. I really don't know how that dog runs like that…

To mine and Link's surprise, it jumped on Link and started to lick his face, barking happily. The color returned to Link's face, and he laughed and smiled like Mary fucking Sunshine. "Haha, hey, Shep!"

I shooed Shep away, getting extremely jealous. "Shep! Shoo!" I swatted at the dog until it ran off in Ann and the others' direction.

"Aww, I'm fine, Karen," he said. He got up and dusted himself up. "Thanks, anyway." The dog, seeing him up, ran to him and sat at his feet. I glared at it. Moronic dog…Link patted him on the head. "Who's a good boy? Yes you are, Shep, yes you ar-"

"STOP BABY TALKING THE STUPID DOG!" I yelled. "Shep, shoo! Get!"

Link laughed and grinned at me, showing perfect, straight, square white teeth. "Hehe, you're so _mean_, Karen."

"Bite me," I sneered.

"Hey, Karen!" I turned around. Ann was smiling and waving, with her red fall-plaid shirt on over a black tank top and light blue jeans. She smiled, but I could still see the tired crack in it, like some warped Venus de Milo. Gray was also wearing a pair of worn out dark jeans, with an orange shirt and his usual UMA cap. His hands were in his pockets. Kai was wearing the same thing as usual, looking jealous and offended. Maria was wearing her same denim jumper over her white long sleeves.

"Hi, Ann," I said, with my usual glum tone. I don't know what's wrong with me and my moods. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, pretty much," she said. "Hey! Shep!" she called, tapping her thighs. He ran and jumped on her. She laughed a little. "I taught him to be nice to Link." She smiled and batted her eyelashes. "Did it work?"

Link grinned. I knew flirting with guys was her way of "recovering," or whatever bullshit like that, but I swear I could've _strangled_ her for every time she batted her eyelashes at Link. Then again, she wouldn't have acted like that if I told her how I _really_ felt. "Uh, yeah, thanks!" he replied. "I'm just glad he didn't kill me…"

"So now everyone has an escort!" Ann chimed cheerily. "All we have to decide is who gets who!"

Maria sighed. "Is this _really_ necessary?" she asked.

"Yes, it _is_," Ann snapped. Honestly, she had to be the weirdest person I'd ever seen. "We'll write down names and pick from a hat." Everyone went through with it because Ann's boyfriend had just died and no one wanted to contradict her.

Well, we did the stupid thing. Ann got Gray (Ann got _very_ upset), Maria got Kai (they were pleasantly surprised), and I, to my heart's content, got Link. Which made Ann and Maria slightly jealous. But I didn't really care, selfish as that sounds. Guess I'm just a selfish person.

We all walked over to Popuri's place. Ann knocked on the door.

Lillia opened the door and poked her head out, frowning with concern and worry and probably mild depression. "You're here to see Popuri?" She sighed. "Well, I suppose you can come in. If she says or does anything to hurt you, make _double sure_ that you know that she's not quite…herself." She got something from behind the counter. "That being said, here's the key to her room. Please cheer her up. I think seeing you will cheer her up." She lagged herself glumly to the counter in the misery of her traumatic daughter and the friends that wanted to visit and the boredom. She sighed loudly. Nobody ever _did_ come in the shop, anyways.

Ann unlocked Popuri's bedroom door and poked her head in. "Popuri?" she said, softly.

Popuri was sitting in the room, in a chair, staring down at a book with her hands in her head, in her usual garb. She looked up and smiled brightly. "Wow!" she exclaimed to us, like some freak out of the fifties with a poodle skirt and a high ponytail. Her hair was down, without the headband, but neatly brushed. Her nails were all bitten off- well, it wasn't _unusual_ for Popuri, but they were literally _bitten_ off. Bitten to bloody stubs on her fingers. She had some cuts on her arms that I didn't pay attention to. She got up, stumbling a bit, with some kind of fright in her eyes. "How nice of my old friends to visit!"

We stood there like morons, frozen and not really knowing what to do. We stared at her, wondering whether she was normal. She looked at Ann, and then Maria. She smiled slightly at Gray, and nodded at Kai. She looked at me. She looked at Link. And then she started breaking down crying, right there, for no fucking reason.

Her face was buried in her hands, and she sounded like a banshee from _Hell_. Ann ran to her and _enveloped_ her in her arms, not realizing that Popuri could just _lunge_ at her in her current state of looniness. Honestly, Ann was _so_ naïve. "Popuri!" she gasped, dramatically and with tears, "I'm so sorry this happened to you!"

"Get off me! Get off me!" Popuri said, clawing at Ann. "I don't know why any of you are here! You just make it worse and I want you to go." She sat in her chair again like a three-year-old throwing a tantrum and stared at the book. She counted out loud to three and then threw her head back. Ann was still crying, but her face was now buried in Popuri's pillows. Oh, _God_ help me.

Maria looked on empathetically, her hands on Popuri's shoulders, trying to calm her down while Popuri just clawed at her. Link got freaked out. Link didn't really understand, fully, the _concepts_ of death and nature and the cycle of life (win/lose). I mean, jeez, he was an _elf_, for crying out loud- they don't die. They don't know what it's like to lose looks, friends, people, _lives_. Some types don't even _sleep_. He thought of it as a curse, but I thought it was a blessing.

Despite his racial handicap, he wasn't totally apathetic. Far from it. He looked _sincerely_ sad, as he touched Ann's shoulder and said, "It's okay…"

Ann whimpered and smiled up at him. My temper flared up but I kept it low. Ann was _really_ getting on my nerves lately. Or was I mad at Link? Whoever it was, I was angry and jealous and just about ready to punch someone in the face. "Green with envy" was how Sheik taunted Navi when she was jealous of him getting all Link's attention. I guess me and her really _were_ alike.

Well, that meant she had a crush on Link, too.

No, that wasn't right.

GOD, how STUPID and SELF-ABSORBED can I _POSSIBLY_ BE! Popuri was crazy, Cliff was as good as dead, my best friend was _severely_ depressed, and I was thinking about _rivalry_ with a _fairy_ and _punching_ people in the _face_! Why do fools freaking fall in damn love?

I hugged Popuri. Her and I had never been _too_ close, but we understood each other a lot. I also think there was a lot of respect in our relationship. "Hey, Popuri," I said.

She looked up and smiled brightly. "Oh, yes, I remember you," she said, absurdly and weirdly. "How do you do? I'm very fine…" She started to cry again. "But I want to talk to _him_! Not _you_!" she exclaimed, pointing to Link and burying her head in her arm.

Ann got up, and nodded. "…I don't think we should stay any longer," she sobbed, frowning and crying.

"No! I wanna talk to him!" Popuri pouted deeply.

Ann sighed and gathered her plaid flannel shirt. "Okay. C'mon, Kai, Gray, guys and gals, let's give 'em their privacy."

I shook my head and folded my arms. "I'm just gonna…stick around for a while longer."

"Okay," Ann said, "We'll get a drink at the bakery."

"Sure."

"Suit yourself," Kai replied, shrugging, "I'll bring you back a drink?"

I shook my head again, my blonde hair shifting in front of my face. "No, I'm fine."

"C'mon, it's on me," Kai said, getting out his wallet, as if he were already _paying_ for it. He waved a dollar bill. "See?"

I looked him straight in the eyes, and narrowed mine. "Not now, Kai. Try _later_." He got the message and left silently with Ann and the rest.

Link shrugged and grinned at me widely. He always did that. Stupid idiot. He knelt down beside Popuri and smiled gently. "Hey, Popuri! What'd you wanna talk to me about?"

She grabbed him hard by the shoulders. I rushed to them, just in case she would try to strangle the guy. "Can't you see it?"

Link looked around him, puzzled, while I really wished all these girls weren't always grabbing him. "No, I can't. What am I supposed to be seeing, Popuri?"

"Don't you see it! You must be blind!" she scoffed. "You can see it in the way it's done. I can even see who did it! L! N! You must think I'm going crazy. But it's in the old part of town! It's in the old part of town!"

"No, I don't, please-"

"GET OUT! GET OUT GET OUT GET _OUUUT_!" she screamed, pointing at the door and stamping her feet. "I see things, you know! I can see people, transforming, changing, and they're all doing it right in front of me, they're doing it right now! You're changing! You're another one! Get OUT! I don't want to see anyone anymore!"

The door opened. Lillia was standing there, looked thoroughly distressed. "Popuri!" she gasped. "It's okay, I'm here," she crooned.

Popuri shook her head and balled her fists. "I want all of _you_ OUT! NOW!"

We all hurried out. I could still hear her screaming and whining from inside. Lillia looked at us, with sad eyes. "I think you two should go. I don't want to expose you too much to this…I'm sorry."

"Of course," I said, disappointed that we hadn't found out much. "We understand," I lied.

Link scrambled out as fast as he could, scared as all bloody Hell. He was _sweating_- extremely emotional situations just freaked him out. I laughed and wiped the sweat off his forehead with my hand. "Haha, you're sopping wet."

"I know," he said, eyes wide, "Man, that was scarier than a _lot_ of situations I've been in. Where's the old part of town?"

"The old part…" I looked a little across the creek and pointed. "There. It's the part of town with the library, the potion dealer's shop…it was built before the main part of town was." I paused. "That's where we were looking last time…"

"That's pretty freging weird," he said. He turned and took my hand firmly, in an urgent way, not romantically at all, but still…I could feel the red creeping up my neck…"We should look there, right now. You up for it?"

I nodded quickly. "Uhmmm, errr, uh, do you, uhmmm, have the, um, Lens of…….whatsitcalled…uhmm…aghhh…"

"Lens of Truth?" Link asked, taking it out of his ever-present rucksack.

"Yes……" I grumbled. He understood (for once), fooling around with it for a bit, pointing it in various directions. A couple of minutes passed before I spoke up. "Well?" I asked, in my usual impatient tone.

He paused, and then sighed. "Times like these when you _really_ wish Sheik would poof up…" He put it back in his pack.

"YOU MEAN IT'S NOT WORKING?" I yelled. He flinched and held his hand in front of his face, as if I were going to hit him. I would've, if not for……I inhaled deeply. "Ugh, _o_-kay. We'll just take it to Rick."

"How are we going to explain what it _is_?" Navi asked, suddenly _flying_ out of Link's cap, like she usually did when she wanted to be loud and annoying. "You can't fix something unless you _know_ what it's supposed to _do_."

"Rick won't question," I answered, starting to head over to the toolshop. The two followed me. "He'd do anything for me. He's my ex-boyfriend, but he still wants to get back together with me."

Link smiled. "That's cruel and unusual."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, shuddup. Besides, you should take advantage of what you've got before it's gone, right? Make the best of everything."

"Whatever," Navi said. "He better not make a big deal out of it…"

When we walked over there, though, it wasn't what we expected. "What's with the tape?" Link asked, ducking under some police tape and holding it for me to walk under.

"I dunno…" I said, furrowing my eyebrows. I looked around; there were cameras flashing. A black woman in a pink power suit and hair done in a subtle 50s flip was standing in front of a camera, reporting with a microphone. I listened as we walked by:

"…the second tragedy in a week, as police are investigating a local toolshop owner and repairman found, dead, inside of his humble house in Flower Bud Village. Witnesses say that they saw, from inside, a flash of light and heard a loud noise, but ignored it, thinking it was part of his usual work…"

Dead? Rick…how could that…why…I blinked, frustrated and confused, but keeping calm, and looked around more. There was an excessively skinny man with a bush of a mustache discussing important matters with a large African American man and taking notes. Both were wearing police uniforms, but the skinny one was the Chief of Police. There was a crowd of people I couldn't make out, watching as a body bag was carried by two lanky men in nurse's uniforms and taken beyond the tape being blown by a breeze. I spotted Harris, leaning against the tape, his arms folded. We walked over to him.

"What happened here?" Link asked him, sounding concerned.

"'Nother murder," Harris said, his eyes still following the body as it was loaded into a lingering ambulance.

"The same thing as last time?" Link asked. Harris nodded. Link looked at me, and I looked back, in some weird understanding or knowledge. "Who was it?" Link asked again.

Harris looked at me, biting his lip. "Rick," he replied. He paused, uncomfortably, and straightened himself. "I dunno if you still have feelings for him, but-"

"I don't."

Link looked at me, with a concerned expression on his face. Harris was silent, but then he shrugged a little awkwardly and spoke up. "Well, the police want to talk to you, anyway. You're his previous girlfriend, so that makes you-"

"Makes me _what_!" I exclaimed, balling up my fists.

He paused and stared at me. "A suspect," he said. His look turned into a deep frown. "I'm sorry."

I couldn't believe what I had just heard.

>>

_(2- Starman; A Suspect; Panic! At the Crime Scene)_

"A what!" I exclaimed, in stupidification.

Karen looked just about ready to kill someone (no pun intended) (haha). All the evidence went against her- the angry ex-girlfriend, an alcoholic with a temper problem, and all the while, getting caught twice for sneaking around at night. But at least _I_ knew it wasn't her. Her jaw hung- she was dumfounded. "What!" she cried, "Why would _I_ murder _Rick_, of all people?

Harris shrugged. "I dunno. I just know you didn't." He rose an eyebrow. "Did you?"

"What the Hell do _you_ think?" she yelled, violent and frustrated. She was actually sort of funny when she was angry…

He forced a smile. "I was joking. Now's not a time for joking, though," he said, looking over at the police. "Good luck. Try to keep calm." She rolled her eyes. Harris laughed a little, but then looked like he's just realized something. "Oh," he said, taking a paper out of his pocket and handing it to me. "I almost forgot. Since it looks like you two are trying to figure this madness out, I decided to put in my two cents. The symbol on that paper was found at both crime scenes." I looked down at the paper- it was a napkin, and on it was a triangle, with a snake eating itself on the inside and going through a letter _H_. He looked at us. "Well, best of luck. The mail doesn't deliver itself, so I s'pose I'll be going."

He walked off. "Oh, that sonofabitch," Karen grunted, through gritted teeth. "God, what the Hell-"

I took her face, one hand on each cheek, and smiled broadly. "Relax!" I said, "You worry too much!"

She smiled, smugly, and said, "You worry too little." She took off my hands and brushed some hair from her face. "Fine. I worry."

I paused, and then sighed loudly. "Well, Rick's death further ruins our Lens of Truth problem. We'll wait for Sheik to pop up, maybe."

Karen was about to respond, when a skinny man with a bushy mustache walked up to us. "Are you a…" He looked down at his notepad. "Miss Karen? K-A-R-E-"

"Yeah," she interrupted, with an air of impudence. She folded her arms. "Who wants to know?"

"We, uh, need to talk to ya," he said, motioning towards the crime scene. The ambulance was now driving away. "I'm Chief Robbins. I need to ask you a, ah, few questions about all this'ere." He motioned again. "If you'll come with me."

She looked at me. "Ugh," she grunted. "I'll see you later, Link," she said. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Oh, and look up something about those symbols in the library's ency. Bye."

"Bye-"

The policeman walked her over nearer to the small wood house, and I headed over to the library. I wondered where I had seen that snake before…and what it meant. What did the letter _H_ stand for? I was thinking about this when I ran, unknowingly, into Karen's friends.

"Ouch!" Kai grunted, as I bumped square into him.

"Oops. Sorry- hey, Kai!" I said.

"Hey! Link!" Ann said, waving. I waved back. She was holding a red plastic cup, with dark liquid in it.

Kai looked at me funny. "Hey, where's Karen?"

Of course he was concerned- how could he really be comfortable, leaving her alone with a stranger in a skirt (I think, while I was in Flower Bud Village, I picked up a little on Karen and Navi's sense of humor)? "Oh, the police wanted to talk to her," I said, without thinking.

"What? Why?" Kai pressed.

"The _police_?" Ann repeated.

I gulped, trying to think of an appropriate excuse- but my mind when blank. "Oh, uhmm, another murder," I blurted.

They were silent and looked at each other. Ann spoke up, cautiously. "…Who was it this time?"

"I don't know," I choked, blurting it out hastily. Eesh…I always got myself in the worst situations…maybe I should just stop talking to people…

"…" Gray paused, looking like he wanted to say something. "Well, how was Popuri?" he asked. Ann looked at him and smiled. He blushed.

"She's fine, just a little tired," I lied again. Wow, if I went on like _this_, I was going to Hell for sure!

"I see…" Gray tipped his cap down, talking embarrassedly. "Well, uh, we should go and see who it was, that got murdered…it could be-"

"No!" I blurted, panicking as they started to walk towards the police tape and flashes of "cameras," and the black woman who had been talking to one. They looked at me strangely. I became aware of them against me, and I started to be nervous. "I mean, we don't have to! It's fine! It's such a beautiful day and all, without any, uhmm…murder! Let's just keep it that way, okay?"

"You're acting very strangely, Link," the black-haired girl commented, softly. "Let's just go see. I'm sure-"

"No!" I said, with a quick tone, blocking the way. "It's fine! _I'm_ fine! Let's just go somewhere far, _far_ away! Get a drink, or-"

"What's your deal!" Kai said, shoving me aside. "You're overreacting! Do you know something we _don't_!"

I paused. I couldn't break the news, not me…I hardly knew them, and…and, well, they'd figure out, they'd have to figure out, I mean, sooner or later. I stepped aside compliantly. I really _didn't_ want Ann to…you know, but she had to. "Alright," I said, barely audible.

I looked as they passed me by. Ann and Gray shot me sympathetic looks, but Maria just looked freaked out, and Kai ignored me. They walked over. I saw Karen, talking with the policeman in the corner near the shop, looking thoroughly pissed.

I could see, from where I was, that Ann had spotted a chubby, brown-haired girl (the one who worked in the bakery?). "Hey!" Ann called. I watched the two talk. The brown-haired girl was very careful not to make eye contact, but Ann was pressing. The brown-haired girl walked her over to a bench, where she cried. I looked up, trying not to focus on Ann. Jeez…someone _really_ had it in for her…

>>

_(3- Of The Chief of Police & Link's Stupidity)_

The Chief of Police walked me over to a secluded area (which was not so secluded) inside of the almight tape ring, as I watched Link head over to the library. I started to wonder about Ann- two times in one week. I mean, this would hurt Gray, too, and Doug, but Ann…someone _really_ had it in for her…and, shit, motherfucker! Why _Ann_? Why all this shit to _Ann_? What had _she_ ever done! Were these coincidental warnings, or a threat of revenge?

"Okay, Miss Karen," the policeman began, causing me to snap out of my own thoughts, "I'm gonna need to ask you a few questions." He whipped out his writing pad, which looked tiny, like post-its attached by a metal spiral.

"Ask away, Oh Great Officer," I replied, rolling my eyes. Ever since I was a teenager, I really didn't like cops…talking to them, for me, usually meant a whole heap of trouble…

The policeman raised a bushy brown eyebrow at me. "I don't need any sass, Missy. I've got enough disrespect on my own account-"

"Seeing is how you disrespect everyone because of your authoritarian status," I said, angrily. Honestly, policemen, in my experience, think they can bully everyone around because they do a "service" to a community. Yeah, service my ass- they put on like they're saving people when all most of them _really_ do is wave traffic cones and give tickets. Policemen also have to be some of the most sexist, racist, homophobic jerks around (after boy scouts).

"Listen, Missy! Everything you say to me can be held against you!" he snapped.

"My _name_ is _Karen_! C'mon, _you_ can spell!" I snapped back.

He took everything down on his stupid little notepad, and reread it over again. "Hmm, so far, you show signs of delinquency, disobedience, and anger problems. Not good, Miss." He sighed. "Look, Miss Karen. All I'm trying to do is my job. Now, you can cooperate and clear your name, or you can resist and have yourself a whole lot of problems. Now, what'll it be?"

I paused. Well, shit…I rolled my eyes and heaved a sigh. "Whatever…ask away…" I looked away from him, to see Link, looking at me- and Ann. Oh, no…

"Now, I'm under the impression and understanding that you were previously involved with Rick?"

"Yes," I replied. Stupid Rick…getting killed…ugh…

"And…" He looked at his notepad. "I'm also under the impression that it was you that broke up with him."

"Yes," I repeated.

"Now, can you tell me why that was?" he asked.

I paused. "Well, uhmm…he was…weird. Posessive, I guess…and he had some problems-"

"Problems?"

I sighed. "His father was gone, and his mother, in the city, had cancer…he was just really stressed out all the time, and I just…" I paused, thinking of something totally dorky to say. "Found myself falling out of love with him," I said, quickly. Man. How stupid.

"I see," he said. "Well, I've also been told that Rick had many enemies in town, as a cause of his erratic behavior. Can you clarify as to who those enemies were?"

Oh, well, shit, just about _everyone_ in town. "Uhmm, I don't know," I answered, "A lot of people. Mostly other guys. Some girls, but he didn't really talk to girls, aside from me and his cousin, Ann. And Popuri."

"Mmm-_hmmm_," he hummed, looking through his notes. "Now, I'm going to ask a question that may seem rude, and pointless, but I have to ask it. Did you have any…ah,…_motivations_ for committing a murder on Rick?"

"_Commiting a murder on Rick?_" Man, this guy was REALLY stupid. Why would I…well, I had to think of _something_ to do or say…I eyed Link, who looked uncomfortable. We had to get down to those symbols…maybe he had figured something out.

Alright. Time for theatrics. Oh, boy, the cop had to be a real sucker to fall for this one. I closed my throat, making it feel as if I were going to cry- like how the lump in your throat feels when you're going to cry. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. "Do you think?" I asked, with faux frustration. I started to cry, my head in my hands. Ugh…this was too stupid for _words_…

He put a hand on my shoulder, gently. "I'm sorry…I know it must be painful…Look, I'll stop asking questions. Clearly, you didn't do it…"

"Th-thank you," I stammered. I ran off, in Link's direction, and ran, accidentally, into Link, as he looked sadly at a crying Ann.

"Karen!" he exclaimed, putting his hands on my shoulders and looking me in the face, "What's wrong!"

I wiped the "tears" from my eyes. "Nothing's _wrong_, you loser. Haven't you ever heard of _acting_?"

He stared at me blankly for a few moments. Then, it _finally_ clicked. "Oh, I see! I get it. Okay."

"Tch. Whatever," I replied. "Did you look those symbols up?"

He paused and laughed nervously- a sure-fire sign that he hadn't. "Uhmmmmm……"

I huffed. "You idiot," I growled, "what good are you as my detective partner if you can't even drive your skirted ass to look something up in the library!"

"I'm sorry," he said, partly sorry and partly feigning innocence. Ugh…those blue eyes- who _couldn't_ fall for this loser?

"Whatever," I said. "God, I hate it when you do that!"

"Do what?"

Ugh- so innocent. So naïve. "You act all sad and you make me forgive you. Err. Okay, let's just go to the library."

>>>>

_A/N:_ These two chapters were originally supposed to be together, as one chapter; but when I finished typing them, they turned out to be twenty-seven pages…which is rather long. Anyway, I separated them, thus forth making it one hell of a lot easier for you all to read them. Aren't I the Nice One. Anyway:

"Moonage Daydream-" _David Bowie_

"Starman-" _David Bowie_

"It Ain't Easy-" _David Bowie_

If I forgot any songs, screw it. They know that they don't belong to me. I named the chapters and sub-sections, basically, according what I was listening to at the moment- for these two chapters, I have been listening to the Ziggy Stardust album for two days straight. So sue me. It's a groovy album. 'Nyways I think I'll have the next chapter v. soon. Cheery-oh. (1/15/05)


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